Thursday, December 30, 2004

follow the light

2004 is taking it's last breaths and i'm sitting by it's beside holding it's hand. not so much hoping that it would hang in there a little longer but appreciating what it's shown me in the trillion piece jigsaw puzzle being put together blindfolded in this thing i call life. i've learned a lot of things this year and was blessed enough to be at the right place at the right time, a couple of times.

People tend to tell you that patience has gifts, it's just waiting to unpack them, but most of those people sharing are already enjoying the it's presents. I heard these things over and over, in fact my whole life has been people telling me that if i wait... things will work out. i got tired of waiting a long time ago but did because of a still vivid memory of sitting in a holding cell, age 17, for violating curfew knowing that this wasn't the place for me, ever. i'm not saying 2004 has answered all of m problems but it sure has sharpened my focus, trust, 'i'm soo sincurr' now.

i promise myself, and those who have gone before me, to crush 2005. if your one of the few that are going to be along for the ride you might want to invest in a industrial strength seat belts and headgear cause i took the brakes off the b-i.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

6:57 am

Christmas is different this year. Last year I was the new here and hadn’t met everyone just yet. Last Christmas it was sit around me and ask me broken questions in broken English. Last year I was the spokes person for anything American and last year I wouldn’t back down for shit. This year is pretty chill and they are used to seeing me up here (at least the extended family) this year I can understand 80 percent of what they’re saying but don’t feel like translating Swedish all the time so I often disappear somewhere or stare intently at one of my phones and try and pull up blogs or check my email.

Speaking of email I’d like to thank everyone who sent me emails to my phone but dude. dude who sent me a list of words, pointless multi syllable words with no seeming purpose except he felt like typing them and sending them to me. At first I thought that maybe it was one of the many brilliant writers that bless my blog with their presence and they were sending me a coded email so I tried to break the code. There was no code and I’m sure that dude was twerked out typing fast because the purple people said he had to or they would provide anal probs or something. Dude, don’t send me emails anymore.

That reminds me, since it’s the year’s end I’d like to thank the other bunch of useless emails that I have received from this blog. The editors. Yep, it seems that certain people, who don’t know me, feel the need to share their oh-so-helpful opinions regarding any grammar-type errors. Thank you, I truly appreciate it, really…

I’m sitting here watching fox news. The satellite card in the basement which I loved soo much is having problems and cnn and bbc have been erased leaving fox news. Fox is fun to watch. They spend abnormal amounts of time showing how the president is a smart guy. Michael Moore is code word for the devil on here and they have somehow come up with the concept that he is THE democrat who represents all democrats. I am not a democrat and am starting to think of Karl Rove as my new hero. In fact I think that if he pulls off my idea he could fuck the game up for a long time. Since bush can’t bless us with another term I have come up with the greatest republican coup for 2008 and ever. Colin Powell and Condi Rice for prez and vice respectively. Tell me that that wouldn’t mess the game up? At this point damn near anyone not a white guy gets a second look and with 90 percent of black people being ass people this campaign would cause car accidents. Shit I came up with it and I’d lose sleep thinking about it.

I just found out that Reggie White died, damn…

Monday, December 27, 2004

dial up sucks

really sucks.

i'm stuffed about to destroy anyone in my path in Live 2005. i've been reading alot about christmas '94 on certain blogs. they don't know i was outta the hospital from the closest thing to an overdose that weed can give you depressed, solo playing video games in my wack ass studio apartment until my best friend and her little sister stopped thru to give me my only christmas present for the day.

welp off to Live domination. did i mention my playstation is in black and white at her parents crib? i feel like i'm watching hanger enhanced tv in the 70's.

Sunday, December 26, 2004

christmas glee

i just got off the phone with my godaughter, the grrrreatest 5 year old on the planet, she seems to have a chokehold on the english language and has offered me a doll house. She got it for christmas and enjoyed it soo much that she said that she would ask for another one so she can send it to me :-) eboni!

wifey's nephew is asking me to head over and play a pre-bedtime game of finding nemo on the new gamecube wifey and i got him for christmas. duties.

oh, between drunken swedish christmas singing (off-key "and i wish, i never met her at all") i've been enjoying my email via my cell phone-life's great plesure- so if you feel the need to spread christmas cheer send it to there's more and wifey likes/loves her ipod though doesn't know how sincurr i am on the 'watch your back/jack move'. there's more but i must head to 'hitta nemo' nu!

uh troublecrunk must hit me at my cell phone for a split sec.

oh, gotta share this. i grew seventh day adventist and we have to observe the jewish sabbath from sundown friday night to sundown saturday. factor that in to a saturday christmas and think or the pain my nephew was going thru today. i called there and he was with will's niece counting down the last seconds to friggin open presents. i shared with him my '82 chritsmas visit to the only fam who wasn't sda, in cali, watching those bammas open presents while i was sitting there with my clip-on tie about to go to church sure that jesus gave a gotdarn about me otherwise he wouldn't put me thru this hell.

merry x-mus

send me emails dammit!

husum rocks! plus beers

Thursday, December 23, 2004

in the shadow of the mill

i'm here chilling with wifey's fam and after yesterday's ish things are lovely. left about 3 hours late, wifey got a digital camera (pics coming soon) and we got a ride to the airport (yay!). the airport, which we spent too much time in, had some pay type wireless which i don't agree with and refuse to cough up for (it should be free people).

now i'm over at nik's pops house enjoying wireless, dial up at wifey's parents crib, so i'm out.

tomorrow is recognized as christmas here so i'll update when i get a chance.


Wednesday, December 22, 2004


been working a lot lately so my blog is mad at me right now. when i signed in it was like "who are you?" and since blogs have feelings i'd like to apologize to her. sorry.

moving on.

today we're heading up north to a place called Husum which from where the flower that is wifey bloomed from 2 *cough* years ago. Husum's a town who's biggest claim to fame (besides wifey) is sweden's largest paper mill. sure to you and i that may sound boring but you'd be surprised how much people are 'mycket stolt' of the mill there. no matter where you are glowing mentions of the mill (not to mention constant offers of mill tours). in fact i was over her uncle's house and he was wearing what i thought was a radio station's giveaway shirt and the mention of the mill came up. they were talking about a paper machine that could spit paper out in vast amounts and how great and new it was it was then he mentioned that he was wearing the shirt of said paper quick spitter.... uh.. ohhhh- kay.

though it is rather strange to me, an outsider, of the religious-like love for the mill that spews foul smelling odors on occasion when the wind changes it is rather relaxing to hear sometimes broken english glow over the beauty of the mill... hey at least they take it there.

Monday, December 20, 2004

fight music

today was the day!

i had a pitch meeting with a large company and searched thru my cds until i found the perfect amp music. rocked train with brother's gonna work it out on blast with the illest harlem swagger since Afro'ed filled Caddies (cira lower case l in cotton diaper days). I was Kane-getting-pushed-on-stage in a bathtub with bubbles, fresh fest '84 type P.E., post rodney king trial amped. all i needed was an announcer and our pre figtht spar/jumping jacks was perfection. then the free, though kate moss anorexic, moody drifting wireless signal picked up the meeting was canceled...

we still accomplished ish and it did work out but damn i was hype flesh bound, i see you ras.

so tomorrow's the rematch and i have to stay in fight mode so i'll scour my cd collection tonight. anyone have any ideas please send crunk-less burnt offerings to

*putting on rocky gear*

Saturday, December 18, 2004

vince with the nets?

things you miss when your not in the states...


Friday, December 17, 2004

'she almost got cut, you know scissors'

slick rick makes me happy. he reminds me of sitting in front of the speaker 'seeing' every word the greatest storyteller in hip hop said. because of my inablility to watch tv at the time i can still remember my mental videos of his songs. to this day i still hate the children's story's video because the cast and concept are all wrong.

maybe it's the fact that there are 14 days left in the last full year i'll be in my twenties or the lack of friggin' sunlight but damn i'm on rewind lately.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

"you are my boyfriend before i met him"

an old swedish woman told me in broken english on my way back home this evening. she tapped me and when i took off my earphones i said yes in english, which usually scares older people since they aren't fluent in english like everyone else here. after saying that she said 'fint' which means 'handsome' or 'beautiful', while her eyes welled up. i was strangely mesmerized by the vibe. i didn't know what to say so asked her if she was okay to which she responded that she was sick. i told her that she'd be okay but she said that she was very sick but one day she'll be well and smiled a sweet innocent smile (though unlike alzheimer's patients). i told her that i hoped so to then she said that it was nice to meet me while tears welled up in her eyes again and we parted ways.

my rather large feet

i'm a honest guy, just like clinton, and feel that sharing is good way to remove the now & later covered skeletons in my closet soo-

my feet: large, very, very large and there wasn't a available bar stool and car keys in my pocket so large feet implications didn't work making this a serious issue. let's try the age:shoe size chart and you'll figure it out.

age:shoe size
13:13 - being 5'4 didn't help and my aunt's penance for buying kmart brand white shoes added to the misery.

at 14 i had a one summer, one foot, growth spurt and finally at 6'4 my size 15's (in dark colors and never with straight leg nut huggers) work for me.

wow i feel soo much better, except for this.

but you'll never catch me with ice creams i'm lactose intolerant.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

my teeth are strong!

yep, this is what the dentist shared with me 5-6 times yesterday when he did a checkup sans cleaning (which i have to head back today for). i guess they do the check up separately here but you feel used when all they do is a 10 min. check up. he spent the remainder of the time telling me that i had strong teeth and that smoking is bad, really bad. he REALLY hates smoking and continued to share with me all of this 'useful' information regarding why smoking is bad from a mouthwise obsessed standpoint. when i asked him if it was already happening to me he said no and that since my teeth are soo strong it would be another 20 years before anything would happen. even my nighttime teeth grinding hasn't affected my strong teeth. my world champion teeth are lifting weights right now.

after leaving the dentist's office i realized that i was across the street from my favorite store, an apple store called mackotecket. sure if i buy things there i'll, nine times out of ten, return them but they know the answers to my mac questions and NO ONE knows the answers to my mac questions. it can be lonely on this narrow, no virus apple lined path to righteousness *sigh*

here i was humming the negro national anthem while pulling myself up from my bootstraps when i read yet another statement from certain person who seems to have GOD's cell phone number. i want that number now!

Sunday, December 12, 2004

"i'm going to knit half a scarf"

it's sunday and what better way to celebrate than shooting for middle, in the world renown under achieving day of the week.

that's right today i pay homage to underachieving bastards world wide. from low c average silver spoon raised president's with half ass annie get your gun administrations, festering unfinished wars declared finish which will give our younger brothers AND sisters good reasons for child abandonment issues and 8am liquor store rendezvous. welcome to the neo crack age where kids are taught that participation is ALL the battle so trophies line their walls because they were simply there.

this is coming from a guy who's report card was lined with nothing but A's and a teacher's note that read: 'he needs apply himself'. maybe my early 90's hourly love affair with a certain smokable green substance (that's now legal in 11 states cause the people spoke but the aforementioned tyranny decided they just. might. be. wrong.) cause i seem have to forgotten pats on the back for just sitting in class, though my sleeve had a tendency to play big daddy kane, tribe and fear of a black planet still numero uno.

if portland is "where dreams go to die" i'm in a tijuana dream abortion clinic complete with rusty equipment and a doctor who works for shots of jim bean.

so bastards go ahead and finish half the dishes, work out then drink a 6 pack or say fuck it and lounge on the couch cause why try when no one else is?

Friday, December 10, 2004

religious backmasking

i was a lower case l in a very strict religion that didn't allow you to listen to secular music. of course this makes you obsessed with secular music, very obsessed. i remember going to a program that scared the shit out of me because they said that not only was michael jackson satanic he also was known to float around the studio when he recorded! poor little 8 year old me, i didn't moonwalk for months after that and even prayed for him. they played records backwards and though i don't recall hearing anything that made sense they, in their great wisdom, would "translate" for us. amazingly everyone seems to put the same type of messages on their records about god not existing and satan is king.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

de la

i am officially amped, minus that fact that wifey decided on not joining me, and no i'm not on some def jam's prez plus tip and biz (who happens to be my favorite person in hip hop), oprah lovin' mofos.

suit me up cause tonight i will cap off my treat week with none other than the group that confused me (back when my brand new title was teen) with potholed lawns. though i did dance myself and i till my pleather medallion stuck. i smoke too much and jogs down memory lane make me go for my inhaler so i'm chill, but happy though the stakes stay high.

see me!

"plug one, plug..."

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

nat turner with a wagonload of c4

you must learn

blog in g minor: defectors edition

i'm tired, really really tired and the crack in my glasses isn't helping because it gives me double vision in my left eye if i look over my glasses like my high school librarian who was proud she was a virgin after 70 plus years of walking, with little steps, around this planet. she was strange person who seemed to enjoy the powers that only a small conservative christian boarding academy can give. i remember one day she was walking slowly (with the little steps that only a 70 year old virgin has, i assume) in front of me and to hit an illinois ice patch (which are different from michigan ice patches) and fell into the splits. after asking her if she was okay i fell over in the snow from laughing so hard. but hey she was my arch enemy telling all the girls i was trying to talk into sex that it was okay to a be a virgin plus if they made it to 70 they wouldn't have to worry about stretch marks and stds. well i got a cold from all that rolling around in the snow laughing at her, which i'm sure she prayed for.

Monday, December 06, 2004

soultronic force

sunday's roots show

did i mention that i'm tall?

wifey's camera action

more photos later.

Sunday, December 05, 2004

crunk similac

whilst the world seems to be enthralled with crunk music, which for those of us who've lived in the south knew existed before tupac started believing his juice inspired myth, i'm baffled. to me, it's a strange thing, not because people like riot music (which it is) but because it needs a certain environment to truly express itself (which even my beloved nyc can't provide). what that environment truly entails i couldn't tell you but it has something to do with low cost living, gas station/car wash hang outs, after club IHOP visits, close proximity to HBCUs, freshly dipped automobiles and the inevitable white tee-shirt (which is taken' sooo seriously in the south). not to mention southern hospitality with syrupy drawls to match and the (re)definition of thick.

i have no problem with people the likes of lil' jon making monies hand over fist, dude has BEEN in the game, BEEN. some of my issues stem, most likely, from the MD/DC/VA (where i "grew up") go-go connection which swears that Chuck Brown, RE and Junk Yard DESERVE top 10 spots on billboard because go-go is sooo riotous WITH real instruments to match. in fact, crunk is go-go's only child which grew up in a foster home so maybe the Originators will get some seepage love, maybe.

so tonight i'll watch the opening deejays for the roots show "warm up" the swedish crowd with a slew of crunk songs they just don't, and will never, understand. they will convulse up and down grabbing their imaginary white tee (it's too cold for that here) while i'm wondering what the fuck is going on?


i want daylight, daylight (c) R.A.M.P.

i think the aforementioned song was written when roy ayers came through sweden cause f*ck! that crap gets on your nerves. in case you all don't know sweden has the same type issue with the sun that alaska does because of it's close proximity to the north pole? or just damn north. so, it's december and the sun is on drugs. it will come out around 9ish in the morning and go down early afternoon (by 1ish it's heading down). before i came here i though "hey i'm like Q-Tip cause 'the night is one my mind'" so i wasn't really too worried about it. or it's psycho summer scorpio version that stays the hell up ALL the time. little did i know.

last november the voices in my head started getting really loud and i started feeling like females must feel at some point and time during the procreation process. frustrated, semi-emotional (hey i'm a rudebwoy internetgangsta here dammit!) and missing the hell outta nyc. trust it was on some 'ah man homie' cira geto boys '91.

it was around this time which brought on my hug a black person campaign and whispering "i see white people."

well it's back and i'm not welcoming it, the worse part is that it crept up on my without tapping me on the shoulder and freaked me out this week quite a bit. so i'd like to apologize to random people who came in contact with me these past weeks because i'm NOT mentally sound at the moment and my sun machine keeps having snafus i can't quite figure out.

Friday, December 03, 2004


too tired to take grainy pics today.

friday! a full week finally over.

lot's of seminars, went to another seminar/award ceremony last night only to have to sit thru almost 2 hours of presentations in swedish. k, i haven't yet perfected it and i know enough to know when an ass whipping is in order but DAMN my head hurt trying to translate and the fact that i was tired didn't help.

it went like this: translate, translate "wow don't nut hugging jeans hurt to walk around in?" oh yeah, translate, "droning swedish sounds worse than droning english" translate *audience laughs* translate, "oh! now i think think i get it... wait no" translate.

wifey's dad (my favorite non-wifey person in sweden) fell at his job on ice and broke his arm in 5 places yesterday. after waiting 40 mins on the ice for the ambulance to come, they couldn't move him, he had to go thru surgery today so if since we like wifey's dad your welcome to e me your condolences which i will read to him after the morphine wears off. remember engish isn't his first language. the operation went well btw.

sleep is calling me


Thursday, December 02, 2004

ya'll gon' make me lose my mind

sorry but i promised cell phone pictures this week.

that damn dmx song got the biggest response last night as mr. 'fro (of roots fame) deejay'ed for stockholm's equivalent of APT cira 2002. that.. is.. depressing.

we were supposed to see the roots perform last night but bt had a death in the family and the show was postponed until sunday night. so in the spirit of "the show must go one" one few people who i have no problem with earning a living on music (because the love/lust/stalker-ism is there) dj'ed for free instead.

i've seen him dj quite a few times and couldn't wait to hear him throw in songs-that-shouldn't-make-sense-but-do (and annoy me that i didn't think about that first) all night long. alas, L deux forgot that he was in scandinavia where the average people's first listen of hip hop could have come from the score add nauseam.

first off he tried, hard. this was the first time in the year and a half that i've been here that i heard the following artist in a club: special ed, black moon, slick rick and "thinking of master plan" rakim. did that get us anywhere? the club's reaction was blink, blink, stare and order another drink!?!

i could go on but why? i'll just mention that when *sniff, sniff* children's story came on i was the only person singing along to it (this... i have NEVER experienced). plus that overwhelming sensation of eyes staring with that "dance n*gga, dance!" look in them.

i must add that he looked as pained to play that ish as i felt so big ups for being a trooper.

i spent most of my night clutching my empty bottle of beer choice number two out of two (budweiser was the first choice *gag*) watching wifey and chris' wifey dance (that did make me happy) missing the HELL outta nyc. *sigh*

well at least we have sunday and de la's the next sunday so i'll feel better, it just hurts that this was the best chance, club-wise, and hands down the best music i've heard since getting here.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

leave it to the british

yesterday i was straightening out my email and setting up appointments that i have this week when looking down i realized that the seminar that i had at the british embassy was at 13.00 not 18.00 like i previously thought. it's 12 and since it's up the str8 from the us embassy i know it will take about an hour. so i walk straight out and hop the train. my bus was late and the us embassy acted as if i was bothering them when their sole purpose is to help my arse and all i was doing was asking for directions...

get to the seminar and being that i'm used to jeans being the norm at function such as these i was kinda taken back when i walked into a suit coat and tie seminar. EVERY SINGLE PERSON. i can't get shook (except when a certain rodent is involved) so i rocked it, did my thing and pulled off good networking capabilities.

things i learned.

- the british embassy has an OPEN BAR once a month and all you have to have is a british passport (people if you have one please e me and we'll work out getting it here).

- this may seem like a no brainer but - don't front, when you are so anti-fronting people tend to drop their b.s. and work with you better.

- apologize for the mishap of the election early in covos but don't allow mofo's to talk about your retarded countrymen.

- big brother is everywhere and he tends to send his minnions to seminars and try and talk companies on "co-operiating" with the authorities, no matter what personal info they'd like about your customers

- oh, that reminds me, big brother knows too much and i think i'm going to move to a cabin in the woods somewhere and swear off all almost electrionics. i'm scurred *shaking*

- the british embassy DOESN'T have wi-fi, which will in boring meetings should be a rule because there is nothing more boring than listening to drone with a british accent.

- my favorite english accent goes to scotland, scottish people are cool :-)

big brother is watching you right....


Monday, November 29, 2004

cell phone photography

in fact i've decided to become the new gordon parks of cell phone photography (aka CPP). sure it's grainy photos and it can be a little unnatural trying to find the take photo button but what's a better way to waste time on the train? not to mention stockholm transit's surpise everytime it SNOWS in sweden, idiots. this week every single photo i put up will be from my little blue phone :-)

uh, since i'm going to be gordon parks and all i might want to have a daughter soon so i can marry her friend in the future.

today i've been working while having the tv on mute in the background, you know some shows aren't that bad on mute. i've known about videos on mute, since s-curl-havin' bill bellemy(sp?) started on mtv, and think there should be a muted video awards. any nominations?

i promise a review of jeanius this week but it's hard to give an honest review when the person reviewed (and their fiancee') walked you to the train because of your fear of lower manhattan rats. long story, and yes those homeless-after-9-11 rats made my size 15 tims a must dammit.

fuck rats

thank god for infinite cool points.

back to being gordon parks

oh yeah going to see "ain't you the ruts?" with wifey on wed.

Sunday, November 28, 2004

new edition

believe it or not i was once a little boy and one of my favorite groups was new edition, they followed me around as i grew up and were there for most of my firsts :-)

from mr. telephone man (which i honestly didn't get until waaay later) to can you stand the rain *cheezin*. yes, they could do NO wrong in my eyes not to mention introducing boys II men. from pre-drug issues mr.houston to the first openly metrosexual, ralph tresvant.

*singing* "you need a man, with, sensitivity, a man like me"

well i saw them on leno the other day and okay i'll admit that the song sucks hella lot but they RIPPED the dancing routine part showing any corny arse boy bandish groups out there who the 80's version of originators actually are (can't forget j5 folks).

that made me happy :-)

we won't talk about the tempations type damn near 40 year old dudes with matching clothes sweating puddles by the end of the song and the bad mikes with coarse voices, hey that isn't important it was new edition!

Saturday, November 27, 2004

in a calm manner cause i'm a smooth operator

sitting here listening to sade and roy hargrove with bastard snow outside and an hour worth of cleaning and washing dishes ahead of me. Procrastination is king!

thanksgiving worked out we (wifey, chris, gab and my starting waterboy) headed down to an american restaurant to watch the first thanksgiving game (7pm swedish time). met the first bush backing americans i've seen over here, ever. a dude and a girl who signed on the dotted line to "defend our freedom" (probably some post 9/11 surge of patriotism). they alleged the regular republican reasons for voting bush in (terrorism, moral values, blah blah..) and stated that this war was wrong initially but hey "they were killing themselves anyway." i got a little revved up then this cat, who decided that he recognized his calling as moderator, tried to put me on mute which made him quick collateral damage cause to quote goodie mob "don't shut me up man i got something to say."

anyhoo it was kewl shooting the breeze without my anti-american teflon vest on though detriot was molested. less i forget, army dude said that once you sign on the dotted line the government can send you wherever they want... *shaking head*

that said today's our second game as the cheering/ice grill section for the elite 12 year old girls basketball (c) last sat. entry. go FBK!!! challegers ain't trying to take it there.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

'82-84 Kickball Champion

ya'll can't mess with my leg game! 204 bases stolen, countless homeruns and many admiring older females (third grade) on my jizzock, i had recess on lock. not to mention my while-in-line word for word recitals of grandmaster flash and the furious five, g'yah.

during my kickball reign there was just one problem which i'd like to address- misinformation. the six grade guys, who knew everything, enhanced my birds and bees know-the-ledge with this helpful tidbit, from experience of course: at the climax of sex one testicle goes into the girl which grows back after a week or so. i believed, so the next time my grandmother's soaps where on i wondered why the lady couldn't just check instead of asking the guy if he cheated. simple right?

happy thanksgiving, ask a native american what they are thankful for.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004


a mere 2 months ago internet access consisted of walking 10 mins to the local library for 15 mins online or checking email over a friend's. now thru the job, access at arms length, literally. my job's emails never stop, ever, and i have a sense of urgency (for various very sane reasons) to get my ish done. but because of the sheer volume alas concessions must be made and unless i want to end up like 98% of princes albums in the last 15 years, overdone, i must learn to control this monster.

welp since i've admitted the problem it is now considered solved :-)

moving on as soon as my little red email reminders slow down i plan to update my link sections if you have a site that can get clearance to fly in this or this's airspace e ( it to me and it's automatically going in the links.

also if anyone knows of something that can slowly wean me off of bloc party's album please let me know.


my friend's email about thanksgiving.

"Almost Thanksgiving. Gonna go see the family. They're all stressing
like crazy over the stupidest shit you ever heard of. i.e. my cousin
(15 yr-old) throws up when she's nervous. so she gets nervous she's
gonna throw up and then throws up. So she hasn't been 'able' to go to
school this year and has started home schooling. My grandfather wrote
my mom out of his will cause he didn't like his father's day gift (a
bird bath) last year. My dad is getting near a million for a beach
house he paid 165K for 10 years ago and he's stressed about money."

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

most dangerous cities

i think it was sometime in the 80's the some people started to think that living in the most dangerous cities was in some way a badge of honor. it's not. i lived in dc when it was the murder capital and i have no fun recollections or any warm fuzzy feelings when that fact was mentioned. safest does give a cleaver's house twisted vibe about it, but it's nothing wrong with it at all.

dear ******,
i'm in sweden (you know the nordic country in europe, right?), hence the reason they don't celebrate thanksgiving, think about your first grade thanksgiving play if your still drawing a blank.



Ozzy's just that brollic?

Monday, November 22, 2004

break time

today with, sleeplessness and all, i RIPPED ish! hard. my hustle job is building alters to offer fresh virgins to me at this very moment. wanna join L's Cult™? please email me and i'll pass it along to the fan club.

today was cold, which didn't help with a pre-breakfast exchange of arms here at le crib and post-bfast silent treatment. a truce was made and i gave the world my best shot and watched it stagger minus a season suspension (c) artest.

tonight more bastard snow is supposed to pile on a new layer, considering that sweden RE-FUCKING-FUSES to put anything but gravel down on the sidewalk, ish sucks. they don't even clean all of the snow off though you see the little mini-shovel things all damn day so slide-walking-slips cost kewl points all damn day long.

after doing a little more work i'm going to head here to get my quirky music fix then check out people who actually write.

jag måste gå nu, hej då

Sunday, November 21, 2004

basketball recap

my phone camera sucks i know

yesterday wifey and i headed over to see our new favorite team. no it's not detriot pistons/indiana fight club game (more on that later). we went to see the Elite division of 12 year old girls in the stockholm area. FBK! no r.kelly references please, we went to see a our little friend who wifey practically raised for a couple of years, haddy.

being a little tired, the thought of a watching little girl's basketball didn't exactly appeal. a promise is a promise and l's for the kids so went i did.

the gym was old and the only way to get to the second floor court was walk thru the girls locker room... finally found a seat and watched them "warm up" which consisted of horribly thrown shots not necessarily in the direction of the rim, it wasn't looking good and my eyes felt heavy.

tip off was postponed because the girl from our team forgot to take off her earrings *shaking head*. then off to subpar play and lot's of full strength shots that should have been lay ups. noticing we were the only cheering section for FBK we clapped like drunk uncles every 3-4 mins when they got a bastket.

the teams were as different as they could be our team was all brown with 2 pink girls. Theirs was all pink except for 1 midget 'so sincerr' mugsy. the coaches were polar ops: a swedish lady who turned bright red embarrassed whenever she talked and a african dude who had a slight cursing problems added a technical foul.

Lot's of crying, MY GOD, lot's of crying! join-in crying, frustration crying, little-bumps-hurt crying... very tiring.


- our coach like to yell, a lot, specifically at haddy which reminded us of "Ed-dee, what have you done for me late-ly!"(c) Mmmfufu.

sidenote- yelled swedish is NOT the thing.

- last quarter, 3 mins left, tied game. a girl (who ran like she was drying her nails) heard her phone ringing and started running off the court to answer it. oh-kay.

- haddy, who had the purest shot there, made her first shot and we shouted out "bra haddy" - good, haddy - and she ran down the court and and said 'thank you.'

FBK pulled off a win in overtime and we are now the cheering section and bringing more people. i also introduced the couch to suicides, which will make me very popular with the girls i'm sure :-)

pistons/pacers game - it's in the top stories here in sweden... people don't tend to think what that looks like in other countries. embarrassing ish.

Saturday, November 20, 2004

drinking is bad

wifey loves swedish idol. i don't like the american version and the swedish one is worse. but *add mushy stuff* one must be supportive even on this amanda "that's her thing" thing.

her favorite person on there is the dude on the right, she *hearts* his voice (which isn't bad to be honest). anyhoo he sang stevie's "Lately" last night and the judges (who suck) all cried and said that he sang it BETTER than stevie wonder..........

now to figure out feed readers.

Friday, November 19, 2004


woke up, wide awake, 10 hour old coffee chased with jolt with crushed pills in it awake. so i open my computer (my new watch) to see what time it is 3:57 isn't something you want staring back at you when your me and you can't shut your brain down from little mental sticky notes with to do's that don't quite make much sense at 3:57am.

so i decided to catch up on some reading, read alot. went thru some of those blogs/websites you promise yourself your going to check but don't really look forward to getting hooked on since those to do sticky notes exist. got hooked and here i am taking a break from my new needle action because one great thing about having the world to yourself in the wee hours of a virgin day is the feeling of quiet "just you" that only predawn/dawn gives you.

i was just about to open the blinds only to remember that yesterday was the first snow, i'm not a fan of snow in fact i fucking hate snow!10x i hate everything about, except the falling part which can be relaxing but once that's over bastard snow and i don't like each other. in fact the last time i had to deal with daily heapings of snow it upped my hatred of the color white. anything white sucks (wait mj2 is white, so are ipods) nevermind i'm cured.

it's now 5.42 and wifey'll be up in the next 20-25 mins muttering at her alarm clock. then looking for her house shoes which will be followed by "why didn't you sleep in the bed?" shower, breakfast, complain about hair, complain about having any clothes (though she beats me on a 100 to 1), more mutttering, gotta go slam door wade thru bastard snow.

me? i'll sip coffee and try to get rid of some mental sticky notes.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

*singin* my life is all i have

the problem with living in another country is that your always 2.4 seconds from tea-sippin'-british-airways-singing-my life-jfk-headed ish. something creepy about being in another country at times i catch myself looking around like "i don't get you muahfuggahas" type ish. but ish is kewl and i had my virgin meeting with a cerain well know beer company, good things.

thanksgiving (i'm against the lie, but still) is around the corner and i'd love to watch detriot at a non-mindingbending time while balancing my beer on my stuffed stomach.


"139th n*gga the danger zone" (c) Big L (RIP)

btw today i saw a time picture of young cat in iraq getting put in a body bag, it got to me man. i just don't get it. really.....

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

i's free!


that's right folks i'm de-wired here and loving it, of course there are a few snafu's that need to be worked out (one is a slight loss of speed) but those will be taken care off soon.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

she's he's hearing voices

bloc party, smashing pumpkins and the ever present prince/portishead vibe quite nicely with my moodishness this day after tomorrow (no relation to the horrid waste of film).

I'm "singing off-key" to my darling nikki/she's hearing voices/1979/numb mix

let it out man, let it out

*light turns green*

condi rice is taking the only sane person in the king george's court's place. not good. secretary of state: the new house n***** position, alan keyes work on your sucking technique!

yesterday was a productive day at the plate i'm just hoping one of my hits heads outta the park. more to come on that one later.

now back to my "how to be a ruthless dictator/multibillionaire" seminar.

rhyme with purpose
cee lo's verse from distant wilderness (goodie mob's still standing)

Where I am, you can feel MY presence
In the midst of darkness if you spark up bet somebody gonna see it
It is necessary for me to speak these words now
Another day here hasn't been promised to me, don't you agree
that you never fail when you try, I'm willing to die but first
I am willing to live, and I overstand that this will be
a lifelong sacrifice, in order to reveal
you gon' have to destroy, and if you ain't thinkin right
you damn sure can't act right, somebody raise your fist
and let me know I'm not alone, revolution, doesn't mean fightin
in these streets, and it ain't gonna be no revolution
without the women, and, it ain't gonna be no future
without the children, and, it ain't gonna be no children
without the men, and, you can't have no love without the trust
And no, trust can come without communication
And you can't communicate if you ain't got shit to say
You can't teach about what you, been deceived about true
Any book you read is still limited education
You gon' have to talk to God personally and time is short
And, he's on his way, and, I will receive a great reward for what I've done
And this is all that really matters to me
In time you will see what I told you is true
And I ain't have to rhyme to say that to you
I ain't got to rhyme to say it to you, it's true

Monday, November 15, 2004

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Thursday, November 11, 2004

thank you mr. knowles

The Grind Date
De La Soul

unlike most reviewers i refuse to drag you down memory lane and make you pledge a blood oath to the only tongues that matter, the Native Tongues. i refuse+ice grill ever having to mention that they broke hip hop in half with 'stakes is high' all while introducing grown folks hip hop. de la soul has never been dead, flower power was a myth and us cosby kids' friends will NOT apologize for not 'pickin' roaches out of our cereal box.' nope, i will spend this review thanking jay z's future father-in-law for harriet tubman-ing one group that does, and has always mattered. de la soul.

album number eight. that's a six pack pass these bammas you rock now but will whatshisname before cheney has another heart attack. if you suffer from ADD i'll help you out: does it bang? Yes, like your holding down a block in Fallujah.

it starts with with them repeating a overlapped mantra of "we are the past/present/future" then morphs into future simply to remind why 16 years later they are still allowed to write 'emcee' under the occupation part of their tax forms. they aren't shy about mentioning this but don't come off like a certain bitter cold crush brother who's constant rants plead for a mic restraining order.

the albums one miss step is the beaten dead horse g.clinton sampled 'verbal clap.' after which it simply melts thru your speakers. so much so my favorites list changes based on mood.

the guest appearances hit their peak with common dropping by to show that life in the wake of ms. badu sharpens one's lyrical sword (c) André 3000. He actually get's my all time favorite line "now your empire fell like the lakers so your talking to your maker." being that i was born in Detroit i find myself pressing rewind repeatedly.

surprisingly they opened up the doors to various producers (most notably 9th Wonder on church spike lee brings it in) but it doesn't come off like a free-for-all. shit hip hop was supposed to be fun and songs like shopping bags keep it that way.

mr. knowles not only begat southern oversinging eye candy he gave us a present in some worthwhile ear candy as an apology to DC's many sonic missteps. don't even let me start with mrs. knowles clothing "creations."

i, for one, would like to thank you mr. knowles

Boiler Room on pcp

"They say money can't buy happiness? Look at the fucking smile on my face. Ear to ear, baby. "

Cash Rules Everything Around Me

I'm sitting here amped up from letting the beautiful drug of capitalism rush all over my body as i give "finish 'um" death blows to my lack thereof of funds. i'd be lying if i said the ish doesn't fell good.

now that's released.

arafat's death will be something i'll be watching closely because mofo's don't understand the IG'nace that could follow his death. idiot bush showed his arse with that weak statement and i can't say that i agree with the israeli response to the funeral, regarding "allowing" who and who can't go to the funeral.... not good imho. it seems they would be utilizing this situation to show some type of love. as far as my stance, the fact that i'm sane (wifey's opinion may differ) means i DON'T believe in terrorism period. otherwise you'd be riding the slow bus with the biggest helmet on to not GET the need for a palestinian state. with arafat dead things will change one way or another and hopefully we'll see something toward the better.

one question when the states were breaking away from britain were they called terrorist? not comparing simply asking a question. hopefully something on the peace side will come out of this because people tend to forget that this conflict is what real gangster arse terrorist orginazations point to as the fuel for their cause. hey but that's just my two cents.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Life in Mono

Great Expectations is one of my favorite movies for oh-so-many reason not the least the perfect muted mood captured plus the post's title. well today, a week from the elections, that muted mood tends to linger. i'm reading time's recap of the election (i.e. what went wrong if your iq is in double digits) and they pointed out a few relaxing facts.

bush has to deal with his stupid mistakes. if he fucks up, oh well, he'll prove to the country once and for all that the blue states are smarter.

the democratic party getting beat by so little may make it get into shape and approach issues NOT from dem icons playbook (c) jfk.

it's his last term. did i mention the demon Ashcroft is gone?

plus we have to get over it and move the hell on, for once if ish get's worse you can tell your former friend who voted for bush "i told you so" with pride.

so it's okay

Gay Whales Against Racism

Monday, November 08, 2004

swedish subways

ahhh, my country just thought i'd make you feel envy

lightly taken

on hold for over 6 decades with no end in sight, damn how do you pay the bills with this type of wait for potential customers?

this coming from a man that is man enuff to admit a certain addiction to a song by a well known aussie pop star named chocolate, it's sooo addictive

my 'skins won yesterday heading for that all important, seemingly unreachable in recent memory, status of .500. sure we dc fans have low expectations but hey you gotta start somewhere at least we're not miami.

these idiots at the company i was called went to LUNCH and forgot to friggin cut off the phone system which was politely telling me in swedish that i'm number one. tha....

blogger's down

so i'ma e this one in.

the j-o put weight on faster than a crack diet loses it. it went from
lax to me waking up trying to make sure i sent this or that email, but
i'm complain-less here cause joblessness is waaay worse, trust.

yesterday's-at-the-mall-typing-via-cell-hand-cramped-blog-entry didn't
quite pan out beside network errors it decided to bury itself alive in
my sms folder which is anti emails. techknowlogee minus the knowlege
on my part snafu, status: frustrating but learning.

yesterday's cellphone cramper "here i am bored out of my friggin' mind at the mall typoing on my cells irkingly micro keys while wifey expresses her double x chromozones' seemingly inborn need for retail - witty retort of de la's 'shopping bags' not included because said desposed of monies ain't mine *note - she's a starter in money handles... my fingers are now cramped plus she's back and my beef wok is almost ready"

the Victory over a certain
nonamed swede is served in nice cold cans of nba live whoop arse,
though i prefer bottles, WILL NOT be mentioned to the viewing public.

did i mention wifey's verge of sleep demon status? it invokes ike like
feelings (c) sometimes. worst still is the her feeble c movie
attempts of "fooling" me that she really IS awake. making
blockbuster nights movieme nights with the next day's matinee
reshowing.... this was attempted tonight during the latter half of 'the
mob house that tony built' complete with incoherent mutterings
(english/swedish take your pick).

like i said i have work and finally getting my mac's version of
outlook up and running has sent me into a state of euphoria.

iraq's state of emergency sounds rather timely seeing the elections
are over now... i'm just saying is karl rove running two countries?

Friday, November 05, 2004

"how you gonna have a dream come truuue"

trying 'em out for size

"what's the matter, ya burnin?'" (c) ice cube

it's now and i'm my memory has me somewhere between 'throw dem bows' green bottled slizzerd happiness and b.o.b drenched 'damn i gotta stop smoking' in a certain sbclub with semi thought inducing convos with mulitple offspring females who are proud of their 'jus finished skoolin' g.e.d.'s aren't school b... but nuff about stumbling loosie-ly thru memory's drunken memories.

vagabonds, heathens and others if you didn't remember when the remix meant a chills, minus chemical agents, then you aren't worth the carbon dioxide your friggin exhaling on my planet, save it.


Thursday, November 04, 2004

a sad, sick world

i'm with him i don't have anything clever to say...

but the 'impeach the president' needs to begin and i'll be getting some shirts made to kick it off.

this shit is frustrating, to say the least.

fucking frustrating.

sorry to janelle and m.fitz that today had to be your bday. enjoy it regardless and if you lie to yourself you'll feel better :-)

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

tense times-coffee, kerry and *vomit* bush

up at 4am watching the cnn feed until 5.
this shit is painful i'm sitting here listening to a live npr feed and checking any and every available source.

new hampshire just went for kerry


220 - kerry
249 - bush

barak sliced alan keyes, one bright spot so far.


uh, ohio PLEASE!!! come on ohio you can do it.

i'd also like to apologize for thinking that 'my fellow americans' were at least in double digits when it cam to iq's.

still 200-249 maine's voting system annoys me because if bush gets 1 vote from them then he would win if ohio is retarded.

if the south would like to become another country, i welcome that and i'll visit all my family in their new country.

cannabis in alaska- they voted for it to 'legalize it' weedheads worldwide are buying coats.

npr has the points at 254-242 bush up

the dems are weak nut-less cats i'm watching bbc's live coverage and a lot of the dems they have talked to admit defeat.

vote or die didn't seem too pull off that much according to the exist polls.



if bush takes it:

- middle east conflicts will escalate
- the economy with correct itself but with a republican congress it will swing overwhelmingly in the big business' favor
- george will get even more cocky because he will have done something better than his dad
- terrorism will get worse and there might be another attack on american soil.
- the 'war on terror' will continue and get worse
- americans will have lost damn near every single ounce of respect with other countries.

i'm tried.

bbc's live video feed gets props though


254-252 bush still.... fucking ohio...

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Fuck Bush

most likely presidential canidates' offspring to vote against own father? Jeanna Bush

today's the day. tomorrow could be the beginning of the end of the world - christians, do you want jesus to come really, really soon? vote for bush- or we could be smart and move on, at least a little.

sadly, i have to agree that bush getting reelected would at least help get pple active (i.e. mad as fizzuck) instead of taking it (patriot act anyone?).

still no one seems to care about the sudan situation and i doubt that kerry will do much about it. it's sad that the world can turn away from something so serious.

for once i'll have to agree with seanpuffypdiddy.

i'm proud to see people fired up it's.... just.... will it last?

today, when i get a chance, i'll be putting up links for exit polls and other forms of witchcraft from various sources.

i was watching on bbc they were saying that there are pple spying polling stations so if your going to make sure you get rid of bush try and look as repulican as possible to eff ish up for them.

i only hope the media doen't decide to watch foxnews tonight to figure out who friggin won like they did in 2000.

now if only all of nyc would play 'fight the power' all day long...


more links soon

Monday, November 01, 2004


i'm about to go drop off mjredux off at daycare so she can learn english by the time i pick her up cause os in swedish isn't the thing when you don't know os in the first place.

lately it seems that my body has been preparing me for election nite/mawnin' cause i'm starting to sleep like i'm on states time. kinda sucks and makes me tired at weird times like in jan.

to do list for today: research info for job and other job ish and VOTE!! hopefully on the latter....

my 'skins lost yesterday though i won in ff

Sunday, October 31, 2004

i heart bbc

now i can watch the !

last nigt wifey did girls nite out with his wifey so we chilled here messing with mj2 trying to install the damn burner (just figured out the problems this morning) and playing madden 2005, which i pulled off a win! after a painful L okay that's some geeky arse ish but hey i'm allowed that with my kewl points type infinite- see me!

on voting, thanks to indiana i might be effed out of voting AGAIN (they jacked me at the voting station 2000) but sleeves are thick tricks up 'em so we'll see.

"people say that unicorns don't exist but keep getting run over by them" - me

Saturday, October 30, 2004

this is

And now, a word from the President!
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
Gettin voted into the White House
Everything lookin good to the people of the world
But the Mafia family is my boss
So every now and then I owe a favor gettin' down
like lettin' a big drug shipment through
And send 'em to the poor community
So we can bust you know who
So voters of the world keep supportin' me
And I promise to take you very far
Other leaders better not upset me
Or I'll send a million troops to die at war
To all you Republicans, that helped me win
I sincerely like to thank you
Cuz now I got the world swingin' from my nuts
And damn it feels good to be a gangsta

had to do it. ' this concerto of a desperado' is from Geto Boy's song damn it feels good to be a gangsta from bush the first era, very nessasary,...shit it put on a shirt and wear it when you vote, seriously.

saturday morning post- the shining

up early again, woke up 5ish and couldn't go back to sleep. wifey doesn't share this problem but with the upness of this week-job rolling quite nicely plus new mj (i love her), business cards (yes i'm amped about that) and the curve ball a new phone with a camera (grainy pic but who cares).

i'm feeling all 'grown folks' now though i felt left out when i saw about the bin laden tape all late on the news last night. speaking of which.. this week bill clinton came out of recovery from a surgery that people say makes you feel like a new person. well new person he is because he pulled out a big pair of nuts with his statement about the bush camp using scare tactics to keep pple away from the polls.- code red! code red! we here at foxnews have learned that polling stations are targeted in these democrate leaning areas please stay away!- poltrickins didn't think he'd hit that hard but honestly what does dude have to stress? besides hillary isn't affected by him politically since she monica, and pple say that hurt.

back to bin laden with the tape popping up 4 days before the elections it kinda worries me (though this has been predicted by everyone and even me) that the idiots known as undecided might scamper to bush. hopefully not, i'm sure once 'oh great satan president cheney' heard of the clinton statement he was like 'damn' *insert flames and stuff*

if i worked for an intelligence agency the fact that bin laden could make a tape would really be frustrating me right now. if i were to vote for bush it would frustrate me since john wayne did promise to "hunt him down!"

then again if i was going to vote for bush i'd.... nevermind

one thing about the whole tape thing is dude actually said "Bush says and claims, that we hate freedom, let him tell us then, 'Why did we not attack Sweden?'" -check cnn for link i'm lazy right now- sure does make me feel relaxed.

welp i'm out

from sweden, a great place to be

Thursday, October 28, 2004

call my name (c) Prince

this song made sure i gets no sleep tonight/this morning. it's too hard to lay down with the hair on the back of your neck standing.

i love it when you call my name...
i just keep writing songs about you..

sure it's 2.42am

and i have FULL day tomorrow, eh, today but the realization that now that i have no excuses and this job HAS to workout has somehow turned into a 40 gallon jolt. as i continue to congradulate myself for anything i figure out even this sweetback, bloc party, biggie mix isn't putting me to sleep. yeah i know but the other songs came on after sweetback... these are those times that sleep would actually be welcome and i put that bed together, quite well i must say for?


wifey on the other hand is enjoying that sleep thing after her nite of work related forced/coaxed monied phun..

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

new and improved!

k, mj has been getting on my last nerve. really. she obviously didn't take a drivers ed because she crashes every second she can. anyway today things changed and i had to get a new girl mary jane 2.0 (seen above). i likes, she has kept my mind off of the documentary i saw last night about voters in america where this dude who has an am talk show said that he doesn't care about taxes, education, the economy, health care or jobs. the most important thing to him is that gay marriage does NOT become legal. i'm still working with that one.... why do you care? people give me something, that shit doesn't make sense to me like mj 2.0 :-) i just need to understand the thought patterns of someone who thinks like that, at least the blurry map or somthing. now back to caressing mj :-)

*double sigh*

Ldef's MP II:

gay marriage. honestly why do you care? how will it affect you? how will it hurt you? maybe it has to do with taxes and the fact that married pple pay a little less. otherwise i'm at a loss for it and if you happen to know the answer please email me at please.


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