now that's humor

wow

"damn, this hat is heavier than i thought"

"now think pope thoughts..."

i am

30

1

lately when i've been eating food seems to go down the wrong pipe, almost but not really. maybe this is part of being old. today i took the time to look at my 29 year old self and i would say that though i treated my body like a redheaded stepchild with buck teeth i'm pretty happy with the fact that i don't actually look old. no crinkly things around my eyes or lines in my enormous forehead (shout out to Sade *special forehead nod*). speaking of heads i swear i've had the same size head my whole life, which was uncomfortable as a child 'specially with shoe sizes that stayed ahead of my age. thank god i grew because it would suck to be walking around with enormous hands, head and feet. i would have looked like a video game character. well, there is something that i'm happy about and appreciate god for answering my multi-day prayers. also i'm sure that since i started smoking at 17 that it stunted my growth probably a little, for which i'm happy about because 6'4 is the best height possible and since I'm evenly proportioned a lot of people never realize it until i stand up next to them and show them that i breathe cleaner fresher air though i do stop a lot of the harmful UV rays but that's what melanin is for :-) of course you'd need to wonder about people that assume i'm shorter when they're sitting there looking across at my hands and head. i've actually had people argue with me about my height like they no better than i. k, sorry, it's just that it's less than 24 hours left in my 20's and i'm a little nervous for various reasons.

yesterday evening i went to Timbuktu's all ages concert (he's big, really big here) and during his current hit he shouts me out so i had all these little kids who stared intently at the stage now staring at me wondering what it must be like to be his friend and what we must talk about. one little boy stared for a whole minute after that then resumed his open mouth staring at the stage. now i might be wrong because timbuk's like wu and loves the kids and maybe dude was 'special' for which i'll go to hell for, but dude stared with his mouth open the whole time and even took pictures with his phone without stopping staring. regardless to the fact that i knew 1 out of 5 words he said because his southern swedish is hard to translate and by the end of the concert i had a splitting headache he ripped it and and ras and i got some work done. if your one of the 23408502345899435 people that read this blog you should buy timbuktu's album, it's very enjoyable, not to mention when your bumping it in your hybrid suv you can act like you understand what he's saying and your friends will sweat you.

i will probably write more today if I get a chance but back to work now.

my hands hurt

my saturday of 'writing' has been the following:

put hands on computer then check a blog, smoke cigerrette, check google news, stare at wall, replace hands then repeat in any order.


i rarely get overwhelmed to a point where i'm unable to accomplish things but i am man enough to admit that right about...

Manifest

yesterday i went on my first swedish business trip. i went to gothenburg for the first time for what turned into an ill meeting. there's something grown about finally going on my first swedish business trip and befitting for the last week of my twenties. i try to stop and appreciate little things and judging from where i was 8 months ago this was more than a little thing. i woke up this morning with the feeling swinging back on a system that is made for breaking non-swedes and seeing it flinch or something. enough of the reflective ish i have more than enough marathoning through my mind at the i needed that break from the norm because work is suffocating me as of late with a workload that doesn't make any type of sense.

met my coworker's 2 year old daughter yesterday who speaks swedish and english and she was cool :-) she has 4 of the same teddy bears because they were going to get discontinued and her mom and grandmother bought 2 at the same time without knowing. anyway she aptly named them: teddy one, teddy 2, teddy dagis(nursery school) and teddy holiday. she has specific uses for each teddy with teddy one obviously rocking the top spot. hilarious

my great aunt turned 90 the other day and she was on her way out when i called her to wish her a happy bday. if 90 looks for me like it does for everyone in my family then i'm not too worried about getting old. her nephew, my cousin turned 60 two days before that and my nephew hit 11 on sunday. my fellow aries :-)

welp back to the grind.

happy belated bday Billie

such a haunted spirit who's win/lose battles with her demons allowed a truthfulness you could hear all through her voice. happy birthday goes out to you and i hope peace was reached.

columbia university is playing nathan but billie 24/7 since April first until next friday check 'em out.

the good ole days

brought to you by Fox News and Sinclar Broadcasting

no nyc for my bday :-(

that's right folks it has a been decided but i can honestly say that i feel good knowing that i did every semilegal thing possible to pull this off and nadda damn thing happened. so i called up my friends over at google and told them to give me a consolation prize and they did! so now i can look at semi-creepy satellite photos that are only about a year old of nyc! sure it's not like being there but it does give you a cia-ish type of stalker vibe but hey it is fun.

in other news my ish that was supposed to be done by friday is now postponed until next friday due to technical issue, really. sure you haven't a clue what i'm talking about but hey.


a special shout out goes to the shitload of people that google is sending through Ldef's direction as of the last week or so. hi! enjoy and if you want to read some real writing feel free to click on the people linked on the side of my blog their the ishness personified. welp back to working on my list of people I don't like.

i am not a happy camper (wifey's bday post)

happy bday to wifey :-) she is "not worried about thirty" because today's her 27th. unfortunately it's also the day that makes or breaks the nyc trip which is grading on our nerves. i want need nothing more than to get out of this country before i'm at ikea with a sawed-off blaming my insanity on god, who speaks to me through my cell phone, video games and "rap music." let's not even get into the amount of work i have this week and my friday deadline for my blood, sweat and tears project -- those involved PLEASE..-- ish is hectic. so i'm sitting here with an ice grill/screw face and coffee mad at any and everything in my general vicinity.

today is also my best friend's 3-0 so happy bday to him. the problem with their bday is that it's been a happy reminder my whole life that mine is only 15 days away but this year it turned into a chinese-water-torture-with-a-guillotine-blade-above nightmare. judging by the slew of emails that i've received from various '75'ers since jan. 1st i'm not the only person going through this hellishness. *sigh*

but, it's wifey and patrick's bday today and i send out a happy bday on your personal holiday :-)

now back to sulking.

math

the popes dead and that's one compared to the 300,000 dead in Dafur, mathmatics.



if it's all mathmatics it doesn't add up somehow - Mos Def

Buddy Christ

on sunday we went to church to see wifey's rather unique cousin get baptized. I was sitting in this old swedish church wondering why everything seemed so catholic when the priest walked down with his crew. most of the p.crew were carrying candles but one dude carried a cross and when they turned around i noticed that the cross reminded me of the above picture. so i sat there practicing my church proven 'don't laugh' routine, it worked though barely (it is a little rusty).

they also had this dude sing from balcony behind us so we sat looking ahead while he sang. dude's voice told everything about him, you could tell that he LOVED to sing, very much so. i know that sound in peoples voices from going to one of the most singin'est colleges in the world. everyone can sang there --with a slew of grammys to match-- even the janitor. pple walk around singing at the top of their lungs on their way to class, gospel of course (since it is a christian college). anyway, dude couldn't actually sing though but it felt right because behind his voice you could hear that this is what he thought about all week, what he looked forward to, what made him happy. his hands probably shook as he put on his tie that morning and reupped his comb-over while picturing singing in church. it had this sadness tint to it mixed with whispers of "without this my life wouldn't be." a sad smile for your ears.

my favorite little racist

okp put me on to this.

snabb

johnnie died :-( humanism *sniff* and plane tickets *sigh*

attention:non-whites

if you decide to blast your school or co-workers (who are also non-white) and expect to get front page columbine coverage remix your plans because it won't work. dude unloaded his gun on his teachers and classmates (this is a very, very wrong thing-to the mentally unstable peole who write me) and rode backseat, not even shotgun, to coma lady.

coma lady, not trying to shit on anyone's opinions on this but my little brother was in a coma for a total of 10 days and the supreme court didn't hear shit about him. they just unplugged him and remade the bed.

aural scribbagetry

has my preaching has not been in vain but i shall continue.

as i stood before my world

today was one of those beautiful spring days where the sun looks down on the bastard snow to show that those eight minutes ain't the only thing that's ahead. we headed over to the bastard melting snow and ice covered beach that her family owns to look out over the baltic sea. i built a fire, which i'm very proud of and will continue to share firestarting tips with wifey, who for some reason isn't that interested in it. as i stared into the fire it reminded me of all of the times i got in trouble for fire and how i used to say "when i get older i'm going to play with fires everyday!" eh, not quite how it works but fire is fun!

life, wifey and the pursuit of happiness (before 30)

i've been getting a few emails regarding the fact that i haven't regularly updated here and i'd hate to anger the millions (ignore the post counter it's wrong) of regular viewers who check in here. i'm sorry. life has been quite hectic of late, to say the least, and i'm on the warpath for financial security by my 30th bday (April 19th) not to mention my ever churning plans of world domination (which i think people are starting to see is VERY serious). so let me update you, as if anyone cares 'quiet!! Smeagol!!".

monday we went to the premier of Be Cool. red carpet and all with an enormous table of fun green bottles of beer that i so love :-) had half of one. there enormous amount of wanna-be-seen early 20's pple there also. i went to network so i ignored them, though wifey (who looked ever so lovely) was seriously annoyed by them. we went in and mtv nordic's veejay talked to the camera, not the audience, then introduced Christina Milan who came down the aisle with an enormous bodyguard who she told to sit at the foot of the stage. i guess there were a lot of death threats from sweden for the beyonce jack or something. hmmm. she did her contractual best telling us of the "fun" behind the scenes but no beef there she's just doing her job. then the movie starts with one preview of the Queen La vehicle Beauty Salon surprisingly produced by the same people who brought us the phenomenal movie breakthrough classic barbershop. damn what a pitch "see it's like barber shop but *pause* with women! try watching that in a swedish movie theater and you'll see the already building frustration on my part.

the movie comes on and let's just say that i'd rather listen to 8 hours of the dry vocals of j-lo's 'best' ballads then deal with this. 30 plus into this shit we left. gar-bitch.

tuesday and wed were nothing but meetings and we headed up yesterday to wifey's parents in northern sweden. the bamas at the airline had us sitting in different seats with my 6'4 frame crushed between two dudes trying to out quiet each other and wifey behind me. safe flight and the addition of wireless to someone in wifey's neighborhood makes our stay so much more fulfilling.

now to get back to catch up work.

.

L.E.T

there are few albums that hit you as hard as this one hit me. so dust this one off and push play.