Wednesday, September 14, 2005

I Got Beef With Radio If I Don't Play Their Show

Soundwave: Strictly Laserbeak Status.

I don't like listening to the radio. I mean, if I wanted to hear the same eight songs over and over, I'd install ringtones on my phone. I usually wind up listening to the radio under two circumstances. The first is in a cab, which in New York City means that I can be listening to anything from country to talk radio to African chants, which is fine, as this is the type of shit I listen to all day anyway. The other way I get stuck listening to the radio is when I'm riding with one of my peeps and they misplaced, broke or sold the iPod cassette adapter for crack or something like that ("Nah, sun, what had happened was . . ."). This is not good as their CD collections routinely consist of nothing but mixtapes.

Sun, I can't listen to this shit.

Nah, we good. I got both kinds: talking and no talking.

So what is really being said is that we have a choice bewteen DJ's talking over random smatterings of songs that record labels apparently thought weren't good enough to put on an album (which is saying a lot these days), JR Writer vs. Papoose vs. Grafh: Who Got Next? hosted by The Mixtape Prince or the Hot 97 playlist on CD (with Reggaeton bonus tracks!).

At this point, I opt for the radio, which means that as we violate a few state laws (riding dirty, pastic cups, choking leaves--but, please, put on your seatbealt), we get to listen to the local Loudmouth Insecure Cockriding DJ (LICDJ) refer to himself in the third person, talk over songs and plug where he's playing that night: "We gonna do it real big at Club Ass Smackers. LICDJ on the ones and two. First 50 bitches to get they assess smacked get a free bottle of champagne. So get there early and wear yo' tightest ish!"

Best part is when the Hometown Famous Rapper (HFR) shows up and the cockriding begins in earnest:

LICDJ: I see you got the 2008 Monthy Python XL78 on 35's! You killin' them!

HFR: Yeah. You know how we do. Dalai Lama status.

LICDJ: Release! [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: No more 34's.

LICDJ: You hear that Hometown? 34's are finished! 35's and up! Step your game up or get off the road!

HFR: Spend that cheese, spend that cheese. You gotta spend that cheese.

LICDJ: Release! [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: I'ma be real with you, LICDJ. I'ma be real. I'm home, I'm in Hometown, my hometown, I can't lie. Last year, before I signed my deal and got the promise of getting 70 trillion dollars--because you know they don't give it to you all at once; they just promise to give it you you, and shit--can I say "shit" on the radio?

LICDJ: Oh no! You're causing problems. Sexy Jewish Lady Who Runs the Station is gonna call now! The red phone is gonna be ringing!

HFR: Sorry, SJLWRS. I ain't know I can't say "shit."

LICDJ: Oh no!

HFR: Shit.

LICDJ: Release! [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: Oh fuck. Anyway . . .

LICDJ: Release! [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: . . . I'ma keep it real with Hometown!

LICDJ: He's about to release y'all! [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: Laserbeak status.

LICDJ: Hoo-hoo-hoo!! He said "Laserbeak status!" You heard that Hometown? No more Starscream. Strictly Leserbeak! [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: Yeah. Dalai Lama status. I'ma keep it Laserbeak.

LICDJ: Speak on it. I'm just here to suck your dick.

[red phone rings]

BOTH: Oh shit.


HFR: It's my fault, SJLWRS.

LICDJ: Release.

HFR: I'ma speak on it. I used to have the XL77. This was before I got that promise of 70 trillion. When I got that promise, because I have no concept of financial planning, I went right to the dealer and got a $600,000 car.

LICDJ: Whoo-hoo-hoo! $600,000! You hear that Hometown?! If you pushing anything less than half-a-mil, pull over when you see him. Tithe!

HFR: Yeah, man. I ain't even deal with the 77 no more--that's only $450,000. I'm a baller now. I gave it to my babymama. You know, donate that bit of change to Katrina victims or something.

LICDJ: Speaking of which . . .

HFR: Uh-huh.

LICDJ: . . . Hurricane Katrina . . .

HFR: Uh-huh.

LICDJ: . . devastated a lot of people . . .

HFR: Uh-huh.

LICDJ: . . .you're not part of the benefit concert.

HFR: Uh-huh.

LICDJ: Why is that?

HFR: Ummm, well, you know it's like this: I'm no hypocrite. You hear my album, it's all bitches and guns and money, yunnowhutI'msayn? Yeah, I threw on the one song about my moms and the other about my dead homies, but seriously, no one wants to listen to that. They just forward over that on the CD. The label made me put those songs on there.

LICDJ: This is real talk, Hometown.

HFR: I ain't gon' do no show where I'm performing no songs that no one want to hear. And I ain't gonna feel right doing songs like "More Ice Than You," "Shorty Wanna Pop" or "Kill You Twice" at no benefit concert, man. I can't be no hypocrite. I keep it Laserbeak.

LICDJ: Laserbeak status! He's releasing! [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: Transform and roll out.

LICDJ: So, how does it feel when you rolling, you got no money in your pocket, but you get drinks free at the bar 'cause you a rapper--

FR: Don't forget the credit card.

LICDJ: The credit card?

HFR: Yeah. It goes against my budget. I gotta pay it back if my record doesn't do well.

LICDJ: Yes! They always get you with that! But we won't talk about that. Talk more about the car!

HFR: Well, it's the 2008. They ain't even mass produce them yet. Me, Robert Dinero and Bill Gates the only ones that got one.

LICDJ: That is so Laserbeak.

HFR: Baby African ostrich seats.

LICDJ: [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: Genetically modified virgin muskrat fur on the floor.

LICDJ: [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: Nuclear bomb-proof stained-glass crystal windows.

LICDJ: [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: 48 karat gold steering wheel.

LICDJ: I'm not even talking. I'm just gonna say: [Lets off space shuttle sound effect] Release! [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: The dash is pure Sycamore. Only cut from trees over 40,000 years old.

LICDJ: Whoo-hoo! Now let's talk about the album.

HFR: Oh man, it's heat. I got like 14,000 songs done, but I'm trying to pick the best 900. It's gonna be a quadruple BD. Strictly Blu-ray.

LICDJ: 14,000 songs. He's released, y'all!

HFR: Yeah. Cause, you know, I'm not a rapper. I'm a talker. I just talk to people. Any thing that rhymes, I say it. If I can spit it, you can get wit it.

LICDJ: Release! [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: Laserbeak.

LICDJ: Whoo-hoo! We gotta pay some bills right now, but we'll be back with Hometown Famous Rapper after this commercial for our upcoming Party at Club Rape. Hometown Famous Rapper will be there. LICDJ on the wheels. It's gonna be so Dalai Lama.

HFR: Truly.

LICDJ: When we come back, I wanna talk to you about all the overused producers and features you have on your album, 'cause you know, no one makes an album by themselves anymore.

HFR: Laserbeak.

LICDJ: Pull over when you see him. Homage due.

HFR: Stay off the road.

True this: The streets schooled us to spend our money foolish.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Do Something

being so far away from home has it's problems especially when something like katrina happens. before this i was frustrated that i couldn't have those bar conversations with during the elections, not there with my new york when the power was out and a plethora of other things that make it seem like i. should. have. been. there. nothing has made me feel like the past week, frustrated and far away, in a place so foreign so out of context. so not home. so sitting here combing through the news stores and watching internet feeds something snapped in me and i knew that i need, shit had to, do something!

so i started working on a Hurricane Relief Concert here in Sweden and pulled all stops, flicked through my address book and started making calls, hella calls. no more working-semi-patience-within-this-bullshit-swedish-system this was war, i hit up the hip hop community first with the thought that if they are going to use my music it's time for them to at least give back to this. luckly only one person i talked to tried to throw me off to which i explained that it was black music that fed their family and the south is where it was birthed so this isn't really a call 'asking'... anyway fuck 'em. the concert is starting to take shape and a lot of people want to give back, help, shit DO SOMETHING so i promise that i'll keep you all posted with the what's happening and hopefully someone hurt by the hurricane (and the inaction) can get a little help from sweden.

a suggestion: if your sitting around feeling frustrated and having watercooler convos about how fucking horrible it was stop and take the time to try to give back. fuck talk.


Reasonable Doubt

They shootin' -- nobody dyin'
Somebody better put somebody body on somebody iron
Sometime soon or somebody lyin'

I ain't buyin' that shit y'all shovelin'.

Monday, September 05, 2005

from cbs news this morning's Nancy Giles

(CBS) The fact that many of those suffering most in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina are poor, and black, has outraged a lot of people. Justifiably so, in the opinion of CBS News Sunday Morning Contributor Nancy Giles. Here is her commentary from Sept. 4, 2005:
After meeting with Louisiana officials last week, Rev. Jesse Jackson said: "Many black people feel that their race, their property conditions and their voting patterns have been a factor in the response." He continued: "I'm not saying that myself."

Then I'll say it.

If the majority of the hardest hit victims of Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans were white people, they would not have gone for days without food and water, forcing many to steal for mere survival.

Their bodies would not have been left to float in putrid water.

They would have been rescued and relocated a hell of a lot faster than this. Period.

I mean, reporters and crews are getting to stranded people, and government and military agencies can't? Why doesn't CNN run FEMA?

When I saw pictures of black people taking things from stores, my first thought was: "How are those Air Jordans necessary for your survival?"

Then it hit me: People needed shoes and clothing. Some escaped the floods with just the clothing on their backs

We have American citizens, not "refugees" from an underdeveloped country, still waiting for shelter.



You leave children, pregnant women, the elderly, even the able-bodied, in a city destroyed with no help, no food, no water, no electricity for three, four, five days? What would you do if your family was starving, and you saw people dying in the street?

And why didn't the stores in the disaster areas simply make their goods available to these desperate folks? Surely, they've got insurance.

Love thy neighbor. Didn't I read that somewhere?

The real war is not in Iraq, but right here in America. It's the War on Poverty, and it's a war that's been ignored and lost. An estimated 37 million Americans are living in poverty. New Orleans is one of the poorest cities in the country, with 40 percent of its children living in poverty. Mississippi has the highest poverty rate of any state. We've repeatedly given tax cuts to the wealthiest, and left our most vulnerable American citizens to basically fend for themselves.

The whole world is watching. And once again, a day late and a dollar short, words of wisdom from our president: "This is a huge task that we're dealing with." "These are tough times." "Give cash."

Once again, he finds the photo op: Some black folks to hug, some white men in Mississippi to bond with. He flies over the messy parts of New Orleans, waves and leaves.

The president has put himself at risk by visiting the troops in Iraq, but didn't venture anywhere near the Superdome or the Convention Center, where thousands of victims, mostly black and poor, needed to see that he gave a damn.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

katrina links

N.O's mayor Ray Nagin is the truth personified, my first ever favorite politician.

kanye put his career on the line for this. that's some grown man ish.

i'm proud of my people right now.

Friday, September 02, 2005

Racism Still Alive

They just concealin' it.

Loiusiana, Loiusiana, they're trying to wash us away.

Loiusiana, Loiusiana, they're trying to wash us away.

Loiusiana, Loiusiana, they're trying to wash us away.

Loiusiana, Loiusiana, they're trying to wash us away.

Loiusiana, Loiusiana, they're trying to wash us away.

Loiusiana, Loiusiana, they're trying to wash us away.

I see right through you, Judas.