Tuesday, December 06, 2005

only when i'm in NYC!

Jet lag is a b-i, seriously because 8 pm feels like 3 am etc. it's killing me though i'm tiredly happy that I'm in the greatest city period. mental note though, my swedish train pass may not quite work on the new york system (learned that today btw). i'm too sleepy to stick to a semi-coherent stee here but thought i'd lace my love cyberly for my NYC.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Geek speak

I don't know if it was the 6 plus hours standing in line for the PASV with 'unique' people or the fact that Chris and I had to gulp geek juice to understand the geek speak while trying to figure out our PASV (doing quite well I might add, thanks Chris) or if the sudden need to cyber share my thoughts via this nice bloc or everything together. Regardless of the reason I've dusted off my firebug and started using RSI feeds more seriously in the last 24 hours and catching up with everything that I stopped paying attention to. Regardless here are some of the great things that I've figured out.

- firebug is releasing it's new version today (1.5) though it might not support all of your plug-ins, right now.

- PASV has a new firmware release that no one is rushing to get, though it has cool as features on it like RSI feeds. After hearing about their feature that allows you to get TV to your PASV I might end up taking the plunge soon because the concept of my us stations sounds quite nice to me.

oh.. Kay

u.. *fumbling around an clearing throat*

that's all from me.

oh the CEO-lo danger mouse joint is getting at me right now.

Monday, November 28, 2005

New York, New York

finally! on my way back home to the beautifulness that is harlem in all it's grandeur. from the west indian spot with it's healthy proportions and loooong list of west indian 'remedy' drinks which claim to cure everything from hangovers to cancer. to the cats that hold down blocks harder than you'd hold down a job -- i'm saying dudes are at their locked spots at 5 in the morning till -- i can't friggin wait. minus the fact that i will be wifey-less throughout this experience.

lately things have been more than hectic, to say the least, and i've been in between inspired and burned out (which honestly would work better if a side were chosen), but still pushing through. in celebration for thanksgiving i went to an american spot and watched the game while 'diss-cussing' the "FACT" that swedish isn't a race. long story but eh. following that enlightening experience i got home at twelve and decided to do one of the nerdiest things of all time and head to a store opening which promised 50 PSP's for a third of the regular price. stood outside so long that my legs hurt for 24 hours after it but walked away with my brand new psp, mentioned below, and have been trying to figure this ish out since. it has a lot of possibilities but quite annoying (at times) to deal with since i've grown used to the simplicity of macs.

other things... oh, i've been neglecting my blog since it hasn't truly fit into the timeframe of my other-ness though those thoughts of 'i've got to put this on my blog' are starting to reenter my head. wifey is doing fine, though scarily influenced by the upcoming procreation product of our friends (due april) and talking more baby talk than i'd like to deal with. eh. i'll be okay. welp, i'll be keeping the blog-ism up as of now and will try and update it with my new york trip. not looking forward to the flight but i will kiss the ground, and random people, once there.

i've got to get my hands on the cee-lo joint and am rocking the ghost face quite hard right now, on the music side. co flow was dusted off and has had me feeling hoodie-headphones-walkman lately.

welp i'm out


Saturday, November 26, 2005

posting from my new psp

stood in line all night to get a psp for a super cheap price and have started to learn a few things, though help would be.. helpful

Friday, November 18, 2005

when redoing a song please listen people

saw this video of the 'new' Biggie song with Bob Marley and it's the worst rehash of a song ever. How did they think that 'Suicidal Thoughts' would work in this fashion? they obviously didn't friggin listen to the song.

courtesy of spinemagaine.com

Sunday, November 13, 2005

disassociated thoughts mangled together in my mind

- i hope i get this Public Enemy interview today (who are performing here tonight), though the dream is starting to get deferred... julianne and kris warned me about this

- the poor GOP and it's sagging poll numbers *sniff*

- 60 gig video ipod, PSP.. *writing* dear santa...

- the cookie spot on my block will be rather happy to see me after all this time, the warm chocolate cookie jihadist

Friday, November 11, 2005

this weeks dumbest headline goes to:

"Hotel in Choas after blast"

really?! now who'dda thunk?

Thursday, November 10, 2005


with my "going, going, back, back to.." countdown at full speed ahead with red marks crossed carefully over the iCal i'm starting to feel a little better and just a little more focused. though the focus was there it was missing something...

black people in nyc be prepared for a 6'4 dude giving you random hugs.

france is on fire and i'm happy that it's spotlighting the serious issues that europe has with ignoring immigrants. sometimes you have to burn it to the ground to build it. of course to not mislead the millions of ldef readers we'd like to state that we don't believe in violent unrest, for the most part (seeing that nat turner is our blogwide hero).

oh! if you haven't heard my girl hope yet then you'll thank me now.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

a jealous guy (c) john lennon

what a beautiful piece of eloquent insecurity/domestic abuse!

things worth commenting on: wifey's WHOLE family was here for the weekend though decibel levels were raised but an overall a nice moment and great breakfast.

- dem's with nuts? who knew

- nbc irks me right now because they came up with the perfect solution for me not being able to watch news but thanks to their fuck buddy microminisupersoft (who says size doesn't matter? have an apple) it doesn't work with macs :-(

- clockwork orange, yeah i know i was all late an ish but hey better than never. dope twisted masterpiece.

- countdown to nyc. i. can. not. wait.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005


found out yesterday that a classmate of mine from high school, who i actually would keep periodically in touch with, died. car accident saturday night and at just 30 she's gone. it's friggin sad, so sad. not in that corny way i tend to see where someone dies and the people who never uttered a word to them all of a sudden realize (seemingly for the first time) the fragility of life and speak of them like they were ace friend -- something i've always hated. dunno, i know death well but it has a tendency to surprise me and hurt in different ways each time. i could validate this post with memories of her etc but that's pointless the point is that time called another young soul.


Saturday, October 29, 2005


today i lounged doing not much while wifey found a phone booth and put an S on her chest doing pre-parents-coming-down-for-the-weekend cleaning. me? i didn't accomplish much but figured out a few things on garageband and did a quick track over my own beatboxing. besides neglecting my blog i've been rocking ish hard trying to get that 15 cent to turn into a dollar and didn't go out of town as planned this weekend. started figuring out how to use my Rokr phone though the sound is kinda tinny and i'm not quite sure as to how i feel about my tanya morgan being interrupted by business calls but we'll see.

got new glasses today and am adjusting to not having to look through scratches.

fun huh?

Thursday, October 20, 2005

ventriloquist dummy incorporated

i fell off, this i state in the same manner that it is: a fact. i have been meaning to head over here and bless the millions and millions of ldef's faithful readers with something, anything but alas time and i haven't been working together. in fact today will be like all of the other days where minutes are indistinguishable from hours and days so here's a quicky version.

- wifey: cool peoples still though i doubt that she loves football and know she doesn't like björk (Vespertine in fall/winter is a must)

- the hurricane relief concert: amazingly pulled off and probably the hardest work i've ever done period. the concert was sick! and we're still not finished because we're having a charity auction next week (?) on the swedish version of ebay. more on that soon.

- i am coming back to the harlem soon! cookies, the A train -- how come no one told me they raised the price again??

- i forgot fellow ldef's oft less than sometime blue writer carress' bday and would like to apologize, soooo sorry.

welp that's the quicky version and if i didn't have so much to it wouldn't have been so quick... i can't help being a man!


Wednesday, September 14, 2005

I Got Beef With Radio If I Don't Play Their Show

Soundwave: Strictly Laserbeak Status.

I don't like listening to the radio. I mean, if I wanted to hear the same eight songs over and over, I'd install ringtones on my phone. I usually wind up listening to the radio under two circumstances. The first is in a cab, which in New York City means that I can be listening to anything from country to talk radio to African chants, which is fine, as this is the type of shit I listen to all day anyway. The other way I get stuck listening to the radio is when I'm riding with one of my peeps and they misplaced, broke or sold the iPod cassette adapter for crack or something like that ("Nah, sun, what had happened was . . ."). This is not good as their CD collections routinely consist of nothing but mixtapes.

Sun, I can't listen to this shit.

Nah, we good. I got both kinds: talking and no talking.

So what is really being said is that we have a choice bewteen DJ's talking over random smatterings of songs that record labels apparently thought weren't good enough to put on an album (which is saying a lot these days), JR Writer vs. Papoose vs. Grafh: Who Got Next? hosted by The Mixtape Prince or the Hot 97 playlist on CD (with Reggaeton bonus tracks!).

At this point, I opt for the radio, which means that as we violate a few state laws (riding dirty, pastic cups, choking leaves--but, please, put on your seatbealt), we get to listen to the local Loudmouth Insecure Cockriding DJ (LICDJ) refer to himself in the third person, talk over songs and plug where he's playing that night: "We gonna do it real big at Club Ass Smackers. LICDJ on the ones and two. First 50 bitches to get they assess smacked get a free bottle of champagne. So get there early and wear yo' tightest ish!"

Best part is when the Hometown Famous Rapper (HFR) shows up and the cockriding begins in earnest:

LICDJ: I see you got the 2008 Monthy Python XL78 on 35's! You killin' them!

HFR: Yeah. You know how we do. Dalai Lama status.

LICDJ: Release! [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: No more 34's.

LICDJ: You hear that Hometown? 34's are finished! 35's and up! Step your game up or get off the road!

HFR: Spend that cheese, spend that cheese. You gotta spend that cheese.

LICDJ: Release! [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: I'ma be real with you, LICDJ. I'ma be real. I'm home, I'm in Hometown, my hometown, I can't lie. Last year, before I signed my deal and got the promise of getting 70 trillion dollars--because you know they don't give it to you all at once; they just promise to give it you you, and shit--can I say "shit" on the radio?

LICDJ: Oh no! You're causing problems. Sexy Jewish Lady Who Runs the Station is gonna call now! The red phone is gonna be ringing!

HFR: Sorry, SJLWRS. I ain't know I can't say "shit."

LICDJ: Oh no!

HFR: Shit.

LICDJ: Release! [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: Oh fuck. Anyway . . .

LICDJ: Release! [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: . . . I'ma keep it real with Hometown!

LICDJ: He's about to release y'all! [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: Laserbeak status.

LICDJ: Hoo-hoo-hoo!! He said "Laserbeak status!" You heard that Hometown? No more Starscream. Strictly Leserbeak! [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: Yeah. Dalai Lama status. I'ma keep it Laserbeak.

LICDJ: Speak on it. I'm just here to suck your dick.

[red phone rings]

BOTH: Oh shit.


HFR: It's my fault, SJLWRS.

LICDJ: Release.

HFR: I'ma speak on it. I used to have the XL77. This was before I got that promise of 70 trillion. When I got that promise, because I have no concept of financial planning, I went right to the dealer and got a $600,000 car.

LICDJ: Whoo-hoo-hoo! $600,000! You hear that Hometown?! If you pushing anything less than half-a-mil, pull over when you see him. Tithe!

HFR: Yeah, man. I ain't even deal with the 77 no more--that's only $450,000. I'm a baller now. I gave it to my babymama. You know, donate that bit of change to Katrina victims or something.

LICDJ: Speaking of which . . .

HFR: Uh-huh.

LICDJ: . . . Hurricane Katrina . . .

HFR: Uh-huh.

LICDJ: . . devastated a lot of people . . .

HFR: Uh-huh.

LICDJ: . . .you're not part of the benefit concert.

HFR: Uh-huh.

LICDJ: Why is that?

HFR: Ummm, well, you know it's like this: I'm no hypocrite. You hear my album, it's all bitches and guns and money, yunnowhutI'msayn? Yeah, I threw on the one song about my moms and the other about my dead homies, but seriously, no one wants to listen to that. They just forward over that on the CD. The label made me put those songs on there.

LICDJ: This is real talk, Hometown.

HFR: I ain't gon' do no show where I'm performing no songs that no one want to hear. And I ain't gonna feel right doing songs like "More Ice Than You," "Shorty Wanna Pop" or "Kill You Twice" at no benefit concert, man. I can't be no hypocrite. I keep it Laserbeak.

LICDJ: Laserbeak status! He's releasing! [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: Transform and roll out.

LICDJ: So, how does it feel when you rolling, you got no money in your pocket, but you get drinks free at the bar 'cause you a rapper--

FR: Don't forget the credit card.

LICDJ: The credit card?

HFR: Yeah. It goes against my budget. I gotta pay it back if my record doesn't do well.

LICDJ: Yes! They always get you with that! But we won't talk about that. Talk more about the car!

HFR: Well, it's the 2008. They ain't even mass produce them yet. Me, Robert Dinero and Bill Gates the only ones that got one.

LICDJ: That is so Laserbeak.

HFR: Baby African ostrich seats.

LICDJ: [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: Genetically modified virgin muskrat fur on the floor.

LICDJ: [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: Nuclear bomb-proof stained-glass crystal windows.

LICDJ: [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: 48 karat gold steering wheel.

LICDJ: I'm not even talking. I'm just gonna say: [Lets off space shuttle sound effect] Release! [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: The dash is pure Sycamore. Only cut from trees over 40,000 years old.

LICDJ: Whoo-hoo! Now let's talk about the album.

HFR: Oh man, it's heat. I got like 14,000 songs done, but I'm trying to pick the best 900. It's gonna be a quadruple BD. Strictly Blu-ray.

LICDJ: 14,000 songs. He's released, y'all!

HFR: Yeah. Cause, you know, I'm not a rapper. I'm a talker. I just talk to people. Any thing that rhymes, I say it. If I can spit it, you can get wit it.

LICDJ: Release! [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: Laserbeak.

LICDJ: Whoo-hoo! We gotta pay some bills right now, but we'll be back with Hometown Famous Rapper after this commercial for our upcoming Party at Club Rape. Hometown Famous Rapper will be there. LICDJ on the wheels. It's gonna be so Dalai Lama.

HFR: Truly.

LICDJ: When we come back, I wanna talk to you about all the overused producers and features you have on your album, 'cause you know, no one makes an album by themselves anymore.

HFR: Laserbeak.

LICDJ: Pull over when you see him. Homage due.

HFR: Stay off the road.

True this: The streets schooled us to spend our money foolish.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Do Something

being so far away from home has it's problems especially when something like katrina happens. before this i was frustrated that i couldn't have those bar conversations with during the elections, not there with my new york when the power was out and a plethora of other things that make it seem like i. should. have. been. there. nothing has made me feel like the past week, frustrated and far away, in a place so foreign so out of context. so not home. so sitting here combing through the news stores and watching internet feeds something snapped in me and i knew that i need, shit had to, do something!

so i started working on a Hurricane Relief Concert here in Sweden and pulled all stops, flicked through my address book and started making calls, hella calls. no more working-semi-patience-within-this-bullshit-swedish-system this was war, i hit up the hip hop community first with the thought that if they are going to use my music it's time for them to at least give back to this. luckly only one person i talked to tried to throw me off to which i explained that it was black music that fed their family and the south is where it was birthed so this isn't really a call 'asking'... anyway fuck 'em. the concert is starting to take shape and a lot of people want to give back, help, shit DO SOMETHING so i promise that i'll keep you all posted with the what's happening and hopefully someone hurt by the hurricane (and the inaction) can get a little help from sweden.

a suggestion: if your sitting around feeling frustrated and having watercooler convos about how fucking horrible it was stop and take the time to try to give back. fuck talk.


Reasonable Doubt

They shootin' -- nobody dyin'
Somebody better put somebody body on somebody iron
Sometime soon or somebody lyin'

I ain't buyin' that shit y'all shovelin'.

Monday, September 05, 2005

from cbs news this morning's Nancy Giles

(CBS) The fact that many of those suffering most in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina are poor, and black, has outraged a lot of people. Justifiably so, in the opinion of CBS News Sunday Morning Contributor Nancy Giles. Here is her commentary from Sept. 4, 2005:
After meeting with Louisiana officials last week, Rev. Jesse Jackson said: "Many black people feel that their race, their property conditions and their voting patterns have been a factor in the response." He continued: "I'm not saying that myself."

Then I'll say it.

If the majority of the hardest hit victims of Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans were white people, they would not have gone for days without food and water, forcing many to steal for mere survival.

Their bodies would not have been left to float in putrid water.

They would have been rescued and relocated a hell of a lot faster than this. Period.

I mean, reporters and crews are getting to stranded people, and government and military agencies can't? Why doesn't CNN run FEMA?

When I saw pictures of black people taking things from stores, my first thought was: "How are those Air Jordans necessary for your survival?"

Then it hit me: People needed shoes and clothing. Some escaped the floods with just the clothing on their backs

We have American citizens, not "refugees" from an underdeveloped country, still waiting for shelter.



You leave children, pregnant women, the elderly, even the able-bodied, in a city destroyed with no help, no food, no water, no electricity for three, four, five days? What would you do if your family was starving, and you saw people dying in the street?

And why didn't the stores in the disaster areas simply make their goods available to these desperate folks? Surely, they've got insurance.

Love thy neighbor. Didn't I read that somewhere?

The real war is not in Iraq, but right here in America. It's the War on Poverty, and it's a war that's been ignored and lost. An estimated 37 million Americans are living in poverty. New Orleans is one of the poorest cities in the country, with 40 percent of its children living in poverty. Mississippi has the highest poverty rate of any state. We've repeatedly given tax cuts to the wealthiest, and left our most vulnerable American citizens to basically fend for themselves.

The whole world is watching. And once again, a day late and a dollar short, words of wisdom from our president: "This is a huge task that we're dealing with." "These are tough times." "Give cash."

Once again, he finds the photo op: Some black folks to hug, some white men in Mississippi to bond with. He flies over the messy parts of New Orleans, waves and leaves.

The president has put himself at risk by visiting the troops in Iraq, but didn't venture anywhere near the Superdome or the Convention Center, where thousands of victims, mostly black and poor, needed to see that he gave a damn.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

katrina links

N.O's mayor Ray Nagin is the truth personified, my first ever favorite politician.

kanye put his career on the line for this. that's some grown man ish.

i'm proud of my people right now.

Friday, September 02, 2005

Racism Still Alive

They just concealin' it.

Loiusiana, Loiusiana, they're trying to wash us away.

Loiusiana, Loiusiana, they're trying to wash us away.

Loiusiana, Loiusiana, they're trying to wash us away.

Loiusiana, Loiusiana, they're trying to wash us away.

Loiusiana, Loiusiana, they're trying to wash us away.

Loiusiana, Loiusiana, they're trying to wash us away.

I see right through you, Judas.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Allow Me To Retort

What good is the Rid without the comb?

I've already said it, but I guess it needs to be said again.

It's like this, little boy: Your delusions of grandeur are not even annoying, let alone upsetting. You don't know me well enough to question my levels of sincerity, and your stating otherwise just shows how underdeveloped your mind truly is. But you do know well enough that I don't care. Your whole style is fake. So I won't even address you anymore. If I happen to bump into you at one of these little industry book-signing panels that I hardly ever attend, we'll deal with it however it needs to be dealt with. But, for everyone else . . .

When the chips fell down, the little boy holla'd at me asking for an apology. I was like, "For what? You did you, I did me. Period." He tried to clarify: "I think you have some assumptions about what I'm trying to do with my career, yadda, yadda, ya, rah, rah, ray-ray and a blahzay blah." I was like, "If that's what you're trying to do with your career, you're going about it wrong. Writing one-sentence barbs is not criticism." I pointed out that he wrote some shit about the book, which, basically served no purpose--it wasn't making me a better writer; it wasn't informing anyone who read the piece. I also pointed out that, having made my money off the book, understanding that all publicity is good publicity (NYT Bestseller list first week out -- thank you), and the fact that it's not my book, but 50's, means that my level of emotional attachment to it is not the same as if it were actually my book. [Shameless plugs: How To Draw Hip-Hop and Strapped For Cash, coming sooner than you think.] But, all that aside, I appreciate any and everyone who's ever given me constructive feedback about anything I write. His shit? Well, it was just--to use one of his words--"salty." That was about the gist of that exchange. This was not by any means a long part of the conversation and I've only covered it here to clear the lies.

Honestly, I'm embarrassed to be part of this whole thing. And I really, really have much better things to do with my time. For real. I have deadlines for real projects, friends and family to be with, bars to go to, hearts to break--all that type of shit. But there is a train of thought that has been floating around blogville that the boy touched upon with his post. He'd probably call it a "meme," but he'd be wrong, because, well, that's just not the definition of the word meme.

At any rate, let me address the blogger/journalist thing from my humble point of view:

I don't consider myself a journalist. Never have. And I've stated this publicly time and time again. I don't have journalistic training, nor do I hold myself to whatever ideals journalists supposedly hold themselves to. If I did, marriages would end and there'd be more hip-hop beefs than a little bit because, frankly, some of these rappers are wild boys, they say some wild shit, do some wild things. And besides, I've fucked up many times in my quest to be a professional. You can read all about it here.

I'm a writer. I write. Everyday. In notebooks, on the computer, on the backs of press releases, on envelopes, on napkins, on receipts; at bars, in cabs, at home, at clubs; in the middle of the night, in the morning, after having sex, when I'm angry, when I'm confused, when I'm feeling clear-minded. You can get it twisted, because you have free will and it's your right to think whatever it is that you want to think. But, truth is, I write because it's what I do. It gives my thoughts definition and space the same way that cleaning your crib clears your mind or balancing your checkbook lets you know if you can afford a new pair of kicks. For me, blogging is just an extension of all that; it allows me to experiment with voice, texture, emotion, style, wordplay, imagery and so forth. I don't need the hits, the comments or the linkage. If I did, I wouldn't be keeping a bunch of blogs that no one knows about. I won't say that I don't enjoy the community it offers, because I do. I've met some good people through this medium. Hell, I'm on one dude's blog now. Motherfucker lives in Sweden. But me and him, we cool. Shit like that happens with less frequency out in the real world.

Now, as for whether bloggers want to be journalists or journalists want to be bloggers, I guess each individual would have to answer that for themselves. Yet, I will say this: for the most part, when you pick up a magazine or newspaper, there's some sort of guarantee that you'll get a certain caliber of writing. There's a slew of editors who have to be accountable for the quality of the publication, another gang of people responsible for the dollars that the magazine spends and, usually, a managing editor that bridges these two worlds. Of course, there are going to be differences in budget, staff size and quality of writing as you explore different publications, but that's pretty much the template. Basically, print rags have keepers at the gate. These keepers have a lot of control over what is read by the reader. And, depending upon the individuals involved, the process can be an aid or a hindrance to quality reading and writing. But, by-and-large, it means that you have some idea of what you're getting before you sit down to read.

I'd be fraudulent if I didn't say that I've learned a lot from many great editors. They've definitely made me a stronger writer. I've argued with them, hated them, called them all types of idiots (most times to their faces), but I've been blessed by these men and women and I am thankful to have learned from the constraints which they placed upon me as a writer. Without a doubt, there are pros and cons to writing hundred-word album reviews. One of the cons is that they're limited in their ability to inform the reader as to whether or not the joint in question is worth 15 bucks. But one of the indispensable pros is that they teach the writer to make every word count. At this point, I can write 100, 350, 500, 800, 1500, 2000 and 3000 words in my head, without a pen--paragraph breaks, quotes, transitions and everything. Of course, I still have to sit down and fine tune with the pen and paper, or keyboard and screen, but I can get a pretty decent first draft done before I ever hit my brick and mortar tools. The reason being, the aforementioned are very common word counts in the game, and if you are forced to turn in copy at those lengths for over a decade, I'm sure that you'll mentally know what they feel like as well.

I'm not perfect, though. I usually come in over. Most editors will allow you a 5-10% overage that they can squeeze in. I tend to come in around 15-20%. Then we gotsa get to cutting. That shit hurts. Sometimes it damages the piece, sometimes it makes it tighter. But when I see it in print, it's always--always--different from the last thing I saw. Why? The art/design guy who can't (or refuses to) shrink a picture or fuss with his layout, the copy editor who misunderstood a bit of slang or a reference, the legal department that thinks that something may be libel. Shit happens. You get used to it.

With blogs, there's none of this give and take. Once again, pros and cons. Pro is that you can get unfiltered, unadulterated writing. Con is that it may not be any good. Seriously, some of these dudes lack original thought and they're devoid of any style when saying something we've all heard a million times before. This would never happen at any good magazine because a competent editor will tell you that you're not bringing anything to the table and send you back to the blank page or, at the very least, help you find something new to say that hasn't been said. Of course it doesn't work out this way 10 times out of 10, and you may wind up reading the same piece more than once. Still, most editors try to make sure that there is some new observation, some new understanding, some new bit of information involved. Even if the revelation isn't novel to you, a proper editor will aspire to make sure it's something that will be fresh to at least the majority of the publication's readers. Better bloggers will do the same for themselves--they'll self-censor in order to ensure that they are advancing a conversation. But too many bloggers just want to be heard, regardless of the discussion that has taken place before. It's their turn to speak and that's all that's on their mind. As far as I'm concerned, these types will remain worthless until they step their game up.

Another thing is that the overwhelmingly vast majority of blogs lack primary sources. The authors are simply picking over other people's research and commenting on that. They don't go out and find the news stories, interview the politicians, build with the artists or talk to the victims of crimes. They just play peanut gallery to someone else's findings. This is fine when the peanut gallery has something of interest to say, but when they don't, well, then no one is there to tell them to stop. They just post away. Sometimes this results in getting put on to new artists, debunking media/government lies, exposing plants in the White House press corps and much more. More often, however, what happens is that people who can't gain an audience in their own livingrooms attempt to pose as experts on a subject and, unfortunately, some unwitting souls will follow along.

I think you have to take the good with the bad and use your discernment. There are engaging writers, people and thinkers in all forms of media; but there are also a bunch of dim nitwits. It's just a microcosm of real life. The same rules apply. You have to know what works for you and be careful whom you follow.

Ed. Note: In its furthest definition, I may be wrong on the "meme" thing. But, I'm cool with being wrong. Shit happens.

P.S.-- This a bit under 1800 words. Just like I thought.

If you can't respect that, your whole perspective is wack.

even when disasters strike

it still exists. please tell me the difference between


and this one


maybe it's just me...

drive slow homie

turn your hazard lights on when you see dem hoes

Friday, August 26, 2005

Behind the Music: Sexual Chocolate

found this from a couple of years ago:

Sexual Chocolate rose to fame in the middle to late 80's reaching
it's apex in the hit Eddie Murphy movie Coming to America tonight
we'll go behind the fame, the "hit" songs to a story of friends who
were able to do what they love.

This story begins in Queens in 1960 when Randy Jackson and Terrence
"uh huh" Jenkins were born in a working class neighborhood.

Randy's mother was a numbers queenpin who also preached at the local
Holiness church on Sundays. Randy's dad was a mute factory worker
who worked his whole life to provide for his family. *flash to
Randy's Dad nodding*

Randy's mom: Randy was always into music at church but schooled on the
street. He was always a performer, when he was 6 the bums down the
street used to pay him to dance for them. now that's talent, here
are people who get by by panhandling and they wanted to give their
hard earned money to my boy for entertainment. *shaking head*

Randy's dad: *nodding*

Meanwhile a few blocks over Terrance "Uh Huh" Jenkins was being
raised by... well we don't know and since Uh Huh only says Uh Huh
it's kinda hard to tell... regardless Uh Huh became friends with
Randy in Kindergarten and they never were apart from then on.

Pookie - childhood friend - Randy and Uh Huh were always together you
see, they were the only kids in the 1st grade to have their hair
conked. everyone looked up to them. Randy was always the one
talking though. we always knew something was special was going to
happen to them.

Randy: I always did like my hair long that's why in the 70's I kept a
perm though everyone else wanted to have a afro. I used ta think to
myself now why would you want that nappy unmovable hair when you
could move it around like this *moving head from side to side*

it was in highschool that Randy decided they were going to be a
famous band and Uh Huh agreed.

Uh Huh: Uh Huuuh

Randy decided it would only be right for him to be the lead singer
and Uh Huh to play the drums so they went looking for a keyboardist
and bass player.

Randy: that was about 1975 and I was 15 we ran into a guy who was in
his late 40's and we knew we had a bass player.

That bass player went simply by the name Hub and always had a chew
stick in his mouth and constantly wore a hoodie. He never said much,
to Randy's pleasure, and they hit it off. They decided why wait for
the rest of the group when that will come in time so they started

Randy: yeah we used to go around Queens hitting all the bars on the
late shift, you know 3 - close and we got a big following. Sure some
of the people just followed us to throw things at us and beat us up
after performance but hey, it was a following.

Uh Huh: Uh huh

Randy: We used to just do covers because I was working on getting my
writing chops up, so we did that until about 1980 where I finally
finished the song that would put us in the big time. right around
that time we got a keyboardist and we were set to go. The Song's name
was Superstitions and Stevie Wonder heard about it and got
mad so we couldn't use it again.

email me your add-on's and i'll add them to this post with your name

Thursday, August 25, 2005

ode to nyquil

being miles apart really makes me appreciate you with your sleep and breath easy night version and your daytime relief, i miss you and don't like having to go to counseling with the cold/flu of the moment because it's not a relationship it's a kcuf thing and i'm the one getting kcuffed. if you were to come through the mail i'd appreciate whomever sent you.

your friend,

*cough, cough*


Wednesday, August 24, 2005

fight club/corrections/domestic disputes

wifey aka Threats has sent me threatening emails about yesterday's previous post's quotes, which she feels are inaccurate. threats don't work against me, even with the flu, but i'll "correct" them to make sure that her fans aren't mislead (you wouldn't believe the fan mail ldef receives c/o'd to wifey).

Quotes from Threats:

"I said I never liked the way MJ danced, I like watching Usher more
even if he copied MJ's style

And I never said PE is just noise, I just don't like that 80's hip
hop beat they had"

End Quote

Notice the omission of the Marky Mark and Slick Rick statements not to mention that she said yesterday "not only was he a good dancer the Funky Bunch were good dancers too"

this now elevates my dopenesstivity of boyfriend apex-ness, though wifey must be warned that this will be the only post influenced by her, there are no more rewrites or corrections. thank you.

now back to cough central network.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

4 reasons to break up with wifey

"Usher is a better dancer than Micheal Jackson"

"Slick Rick has an annoying voice"

"Public Enemy just sounds like noise"

"Marky Mark was a good dancer"

Saturday, August 20, 2005

God Forgive Me For My Brash Delivery

Another G-Bomb mistake that hit too close to home.

Now, once upon a time, not too long ago
A nigga like myself had to strongarm a hoe. . .

On Aug 17, 2005, at 5:07 PM, NH wrote:

Keep mulling over the part of our conversation about the usage of language as a means to subjugate or demean. When straight men are ridiculed as gay, it implies that they are inferior in some way. Not a man. Not quite there.

(So not the case with the gay men that I know and adore.)

This is not a critique of your writing, nor the motivations behind your posts to address the cowardly and distasteful way that said parties have slandered your name and your body of work. Merely to say that your written response, with the intent to defend yourself, seems to include asserting your masculinity by feminizing or sexualizing other men.

Political correctness aside, you are more than clever enough to craft an argument that posits that emotional insecurities lead to impulsive epithets designed to establish a fleeting sense of control.

What do you think?

I think I should apologize to the women and members of the LGBTQI community who I may have disrespected. So. . . Sorry.

I think that I should have taken the time to clarify that I was speaking metaphorically. I was attemtpting to draw a parallel between homey's repeated attempts to garner attention from me and the mannerisms of a schoolboy who pulls on a girl's hair beause he really likes her but lacks the courage to express his admiration. I mean a guy attracted to another guy is gay (or maybe bi), no?

I think it's unfortuante that my approach allowed the child to hide behind my residual homophobia (I ain't even gonna try to front like my understanding and/or comfort level with male homosexualtiy is at 100%; maybe 80-85%.) and suckle at the teat of the feminist crew as opposed to dealing with what he knows the true issues to be. Dude knows well and good it's about his constant, misguided moves to engage me in conversation. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not so umbrageous as to take offense to anything written about me (much less my work). I mean, hell, much worse has been written and said. And a lot of it is right there on Google for anyone to see.

I think it's also unfortunate that a third player came into the game in the 9th inning, further allowing homey to obfuscate what the whole situation is really about. I also think it's fucked up that I let myself be blind-sided and caught out there by the third player. But shit happens. You win some, you lose some. No one bats 1.000.

But, most importantly, I think it's fucked up that I was insensitive to you and others like you. If anything, I was dissing you by equating the boy's twaddle with the real things you deal with everyday. Sorry.

[Pacifist-Assassin: This is not a hoe in the sense of havin' a pussy, but a pussy havin' no goddamned sense -- tryna push me.]

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

The Gift & The Curse

Statutes 2000 by Paulo Coelho

1] All men are different. And should do everything possible to continue to be so.

2] Each human being has been granted two courses of action: that of deed and that of contemplation. Both lead to the same place.

3] Each human being has been granted two qualities: power and gift. Power drives man to meet his destiny, his gift obliges him to share with others that which is good in him. A man must know when to use his power, and when to use his gift.

4] Each human being has been granted a virtue: the capacity to choose. For he who does not use this virtue, it becomes a curse and others will always choose for him.

5] Each human being has the right to two blessings, which are: the blessing to do right, and the blessing to err. In the latter case, there is always a path of learning leading to the right way.

6] Each human being has his own sexual profile, and should exercise it without guilt provided he does not oblige others to exercise it with him.

7] Each human being has his own Personal Legend to be fulfilled, and this is the reason he is in the world. The Personal Legend is manifest in his enthusiasm for what he does.

--the Personal Legend may be abandoned for a certain time, provided one does not forget it and returns as soon as possible.

8] Each man has a feminine side, and each woman has a masculine side. It is necessary to use discipline with intuition, and to use intuition objectively.

9] Each human being must know two languages: the language of society and the language of the omens. The first serves for communication with others. The second serves to interpret messages from God.

10] Each human being has the right to seek out joy, joy being understood as something which makes one content not necessarily that which makes others content.

11] Each human being must keep alight within him the sacred flame of madness. And must behave like a normal person.

12] The only faults considered grave are the following: not respecting the rights of one's neighbor, letting oneself be paralyzed by fear, feeling guilty, thinking one does not deserve the good and bad which occurs in life, and being a coward.

--we shall love our enemies, but not make alliances with them. They are placed in our way to test our sword, and deserve the respect of our fight.

--we shall choose our enemies, not the other way around.

13] All religions lead to the same God, and all deserve the same respect.

A man who chooses a religion is also choosing a collective manner of adoration and of sharing the mysteries. Nevertheless, he alone is responsible for his actions along the Way, and he has no right to transfer to religion the responsibility for his steps and his decisions.

14] We hereby declare the end to the wall dividing the sacred from the profane: from now on, all is sacred.

15] Everything which is done in the present, affects the future by consequence, and the past by redemption.

15-5] Dispensations to the contrary are herewith revoked.

[Pacifist Assassin: These are the rules I follow in my life -- you gotta love it.]

Friday, August 12, 2005

work related

would you kill for me?

obviously ready to die is at fault here. where they kcuf is tipper when you need her? me and my b-i situation wasn't what i would call a well planned venture, i mean, it's was like the iraq post war planning.

life: i'd say the drawback to my job is having to listen to myself over and over again with the spiel's variation but thus is the curse of a true hustler, with world domination plans, focused. what's been happening with me? nothing much though days seems to stream together and the nearing end of the fiscal year has me on hyper drive. it's 1:15 and i got up at 6 am so i'm sitting here wondering i'm not in the slumber that wifey's in. well i'm going to stare intently at the back of my eyelids.


Saturday, July 30, 2005

doom got me open

i'm open tonight though wifey-less (grrrls nite out) between prince of persia, this depressing movie about divorce with randy quaid that got me over thinking relationships and this dangerdoom in the pod i'm open. it all started a couple days ago when kris hit me asking if i felt mf to which i replied that i been sleeping and will continue because i effin' felt like it. this was followed by mr. dukes hitting me with a link with ghost/doom 'the mask' now i'm open. oh so even.

my to do lists this week includes reading angels and demons bugging writers and sponsors, some of which i'll start on tomorrow. 'neeway i'm open tonight ready to write some sumtin' and thought i'd share.

mf i must apologize for the slumber, no more.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

time keeps on slipping, slipping

i have fallen so off it's more than sad, it's pitiful and in the mist of this horrible 'maffia-in-italy' movie that harvey kietel obviously did to support habits that one shouldn't support it reminded me to post, quickly at least. the editing department should pay me money for actually sitting through this incomprehensible shit, they cut from night time scenes to daytime mid convo. the storyline.. isn't. camera angles give you a headache and try to cover up the cheapnesstivity of this movie.. eff it, it's horrible.

been up to wifey's parents for 3 weeks *yawn* *double yawn* read the Da Vinci Code--i know i'm all late-- in less that 48 hours and practiced the fine art of sleeping with my eyes open while looking busy. did catch a fish on the smaller end of 'moderate size' and a minnow (which is hard to catch on a hook but i am a talented fisherman). back at work on taking over the world and wondering how i can get my hands on Danyel's book which i have been hearing more than enough good things about, though something tells me in sweden will be a b-i.

yay for the ira, funny how it came right after the bombings and tony was getting ready to george bush some privacy. sudan is still fucked up and nadda ting gwon change for babylon.

a thought crossed my mind when i heard about them canceling the space program again after seeing the debris, how would it feel to be in the bastard when they made the annoucement?

i'm going to bed.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

put people on

buy the desofo album! dammit i worked hard and slept less for this. we've got some cool stuff on the site and i just wanted to shower thanks on the people that contributed when it was simply a fetus of an idea:will dukes, kris ex and the lovely julianne shepard, seriously, thank you.

now if your reading this you should have already bought the album and added desofo to your bookmarks so i'll thank you now.


Sunday, June 26, 2005

Gangsta Diaries

June 26


most of the time i wake up early after a night full of gangsta shit to ice grill birds for chirping. ain't shit to chirp about, you little feathery bitches. all happy and shit. after a while i usually head over to a flower and stop that n*gga into the ground for looking all pretty. i don't like pretty shit plus it's good practice for my stomping game.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

uh, damn

grandma's, broken hearts and guns? wow...

in other news it's always nice to know that white people feel that it's too late to apologize for slavery, amazing since black people didn't actually get political representation until the late 60's. which in essence means that slavery, in some form, legally existed until the Civil Rights Act but that's just me... not to mention the fact that if it is true that slavery isn't something worth apologizing for because it's too late and has no lasting effects (besides the 5 centuries deep in cotton money (c) mos) then the overall view would be that we're less human than any other race...

Thursday, June 23, 2005

today a beautiful thing was born

my little *sniff* go there and buy the downloadable album it's ill not to mention criminally cheap. look around and e me if you have anything you'd like to do for her please let me know.



Saturday, June 18, 2005

Pistons Bitch!!!

via email:

OMIGOD...we blew them away. Spurs never let cats get past 90? did that game 3...tonite..triple digits!

U know what's funny....Piston's haters always talk about what the next niggas did wrong "Shaq's thigh" "Wadw was hurt" (as if Iverson hasn't clowned niggas with a broken arm!)...so tonite I called some of those haters..."Is it Argentia's economy?"...Tim Duncan's brother has cancer?"....Tony Parker is upset abt the propsed EU consititution?"

It's never abt what we did right..we the hardest working team in the league...hilarious.

Too black. Too strong.


big ups to nba dot com for the free replay of the whole game on video for us poor people overseas.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

ghetto pass auction

since i'm an expatriate now i feel that now is a perfect time to aution off my ghetto pass with it's alphabetical city stamps. please email me if your'd like to make an offer.

thank you

Monday, June 13, 2005


went to a restaurant named mississippi which lacked cornbread, greens and anything else associated with the dirty south. the menu included a philly cheesesteak which i ordered only to get it on toasted white bread. since i was obviously the only american in there they asked what i thought of the food and told them that somewhere rocky was having a heart attack after feeling that i was served a philly with white bread. *shaking head*

in other news the trial for Mississippi Burning starts today hopefully to convict this 80 year old man for the horrendous murder or the 3 civil rights workers in 1964. i've always noticed that when people mention the three the mention the two whites first (as if this was the greatest gift of white people ever) then passively mention the black guy who lived in meridian, mississippi (where my dad was born) and had a lot more to lose by joining the voter registration drive then his new yorker partners. seeing that at the end of the day dude had to go home and worry about what could happen to his family.

the pistons lost again last night but i expected this series to go 7 also the only problem is that playing the spurs is like allowing a boa to get a good grip on your windpipe before starting to get it off.

i'm off to work.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

trained thoughts

I was on the train this morning reading time when a class of kids got on the train, there have been lots of kids on the train lately because they're having field trips all at the same time. this class was around the age of 6/7 years old and this little girl was talking to her friend when she looked down and pulled out a cell phone with a sticker on it and talked for the rest of the time they were on the train. a six year old with a cell phone? wow. it does make a little sense here since all incoming calls are free no matter where they are from but i find it a little strange that a 6 year old would rock a cell phone to school. i'm old.

is this new or have i been under unsaid rock for a while?

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

the pistons keep on ripping it

well after my much deserved muted gloat session which was today (effin' swedes don't know a damn thing about the nba but i called all expiates to lord it over them) i came across an issue. today we're jeffersoning up to the top floor of the office building my job is in and moving always gives me a sense of newness and a reason to become organized, at least work on it. now organization and i are old friends we go back to school evenings where i'd spend 98% of my times organizing, which in return would drain my energy for the actual studying times. moving along, i have come to a dilemma of sorts: firefox or safari. now to the pc'ers reading this who have yet to have been touched by the holy cult of mac this dilemma seems rather quaint, well it isn't. if you've read this blog for a while you have seen me get my geek on explaining the soothing nature of firefox and countless others have received emails extolling the virtues of this mozilla creation. the add-ons and fuzzy feeling you get are all good reasons to rock it but more and more the overall beauty and ease of use of safari has moved it into the number one spot. sure i haven't figured out everything on it yet, like rss reading (i know how to do it but it doesn't yet match my sage viewing experience). anyhoo i'm at a lost and using both for both sake though safari is edging up toward 89.4% at this time...

wait, what the hell am i talking about?

sorry, carry on.

i've been looking around the apartment

wondering where i'm going to put my new 65 inch tv when it comes out, of course i'm waiting breathlessly for the 82 inch Samsung but the 65 inch will suffice until that one comes out. there is one other thing besides not being able to afford it, it's figuring out a place that i can put it without wifey getting mad because it takes up a whole wall in the living room.

back to pondering, shit i should be asleep (only to wake to the glorious news that the finals will include my pistons).

Sunday, June 05, 2005

how many times i gotta tell ya'll?

the pistons are going to win in 7? repeat this mantra 'l is always right, l is always right' i keep telling people but nah they wanna act in disbelief that i don't know what i'm talking about. *shaking head* sure you can say that it's wade being out or that shaq is 300 years old and his part-time policeman's utility belt is showing him down but the undeniable truth of the matter is that the pistons will continue to prevail in their move toward the 2nd title in two years. sleep, hate or whatever you'd like to do but i am right.

respect my ish nnnhuh

thank you*

*this public service announcement has been brought to you by ldef

Saturday, June 04, 2005

get your blogger t-shirt

hitch is a good example of the 'no chemistry' and plotlessness. this yawn-fest is clockfull of predictability and seems that the dialogue was written for a GED class writing project. not that there is anything wrong with GEDs, due to my untimely expultion from the class of '93... nevermind, this movie sucks, just thought i'd save you from a wasted video rental.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

so i haven't been posting much lately

though things are inching on in my direction it's been hard to find the time to tap it out here. lately i've been thinking about the curse of being raised in a very strict religious environment and the long lasting effects that come with it. even though my conscious mind has rejected that and christianity on a whole those creepy little fears that religion instilled still exist. it's unfortunate that one can not simply decide the rid themselves of these issues but i'm starting to understand that i will be fighting the first 18-24 years of my life forever. it can be accepted, the fight, but i really don't want to pass these things down to my offspring (all 29 of them) in the future. i would like to preserve certain aspects of it though but can't quite figure out how to give it to them (all 29 of them) in a way that doesn't alter their choices.

sorry about the pontification there but it's been on loop in my mind lately.

otherwise after fifty false starts and blown tires i can finally say that monday is the day! yep, the site i run www.desofo.com will officially be launched and the millions and millions who view this blog will run over to it and buy the album, which is the dopest album of all time and has cured cancer on many occasions plus actually raised people from the dead while starting world peace and harmony. rolling stone will give it a 1,000,000 out of 5 and say that without this album the world could not continue spinning. sooo, your going to run over there and pay for it then download it and enjoy it along with me :-) of course i'll have to thank damn near every person linked on this site (please look over to your right and click away) for helping me along this excruciating looong journey. i'd love to go on but i believe that that's prince on my cell phone callilng to see if he can contribute to the next album, if i decide to do it again :-) nicolay (of foreign exchange fame) arranged the album, for which i owe him my first and second born children so go buy it, on monday.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

insomniac's symphony

my job has taught me that you'll never think of everything you can think of when your supposed to, which got me thinking about if i was 'god.' well i would have forgotten a few things such as:

you'd get dizzy when you walk because i wouldn't have thought to have the eyes adjust.

you'd smell like hot shit because i wouldn't have thought of making your digestive system smell proof.

fingerprints wouldn't exist, it seems that it would take a long time to come up with an infinite equation for fingerprints so i would have let that one go.

love would have never crossed my mind, neither would fear or pain.

sex would have been quite different, if i even thought about it in the first place.

things like trees and grass wouldn't have anything to do with fresh air and would most likely look like atari 2600 grass.

sleep wouldn't happen either, which it isn't at this moment but i'll be aiight.

glad i'm not 'god'

Sunday, May 22, 2005

why do we front

like R. Kelly isn't certified fucking crazy? just heard his song 'trapped in the closet' *shaking head*


Thursday, May 19, 2005

required reading

sure the last picture had a short shelf life but i'm a busy man an emails begging me to find other pictures that are similar go on def (yes def) ears, 'cause we marauder for'... nevermind. anyway life is starting to show some bright spots and i've been treating ldef is utter disrespect but i'm trying to reach the americanswedish dream here guys and that takes hard work and a very big gun. oh trailing off seems to be a thing that comes with age. speaking of which i was in a meeting the other day and the guy, we've had meetings before, said something like "since your 30" and i had to remind myself.

wifey equals camera as of late. all signs point to the procreation project that my best friend just completed but 2025 sound like a great time to begin, if you ask me.

k, moving along. this is today's required reading it's ill for many reasons but pay attention to the scribes jobs and soon you'll see.

next up: dear white people, don't use the word wigger without expecting retaliation. thank you.


Monday, May 16, 2005

i'm sitting at work

happend to see kung fu hustle yesterday and was blown away. the visuals were stunning and it was refreshing to see a movie with those type of visuals that doesn't take itself so damn seriously.

back to the soon to be completed grind.


my pistons were able to pull it off yesterday as i watched espn.com's live time updates of the game. watching the game via states on your computer screen isn't exactly the type of thing i'd refer to has heart stopping. i'm thinking about paying for a web link of the nba games because i have to see them in the finals this year, last year made me ice grill wifey and randomly curse in random situations.

tiger is the truth people if your sitting behind one of those p and c thingys you need to run out cop a powerbook and take your first breath of air. of course i being me haven't figured out half of the stuff on there but for each one that i stumble on i cheer, i really do. we all will figure this out though.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

13th floor/Growing Old

Conceive true deception multiplied a million fold
Visualize the yin and yang in a battle so intense
that we get em confused
The resident evil specialize in misconstruing
We wanna be at a presidential level -- what are we doing?
Foolin ourself, clownin ourself, playin ourself
By not bein ourself
We can't babble no more than we can bob our head offbeat
Nimrod by the time we forty cause we can't get our meat
While we ask no reason for the misplacement of the season
look at the picture that's painted
Tainted as the mind who's blinded to the point
where Sodomites get all the rights
We fall for fights with fisticuffs
Get pissed enough to miss the bus
It disgusts me to see my folks run up on
I say stand up on deception of time all of Revelations
And recognize this mind on the reality of horror
known as mankind
Jesus and his twelve disciples make thirteen
A righteous number of righteous men
Even Judas the Betrayer came true in the end
The Devil say the end is the beginning
They teach that we were the product of incest
Invest no level of self into their system of Paganomics
Stand with us and don't look back upon it
Just face this mindstate
Otherwise Babylon...

My memories of yesterday...

Big Rube

Monday, May 09, 2005

so i got a powerbook today

i feel powerful, sure it's not 'brand new' but it's 3 million times faster than my ibook, who looks so small, so insignificant at this point. the only problem is that the genius' over at mac came up with a great idea to help powerbook people out when they got a new powerbook but didn't come up with anything for those of us stepping up. sooo, i have to go through all of the crap i have transferred from my ibook and try and figure out ways to load it in before i hand it over to the dude that bought it tomorrow *sigh*

just thought i'd share. wow, this 15 inch got me open though.

coffee and cursing update:

figured out how to do somethings but still at a loss for quite a few others. for instance i transferred all of my emails over BUT it refuses to finish my addresses. *deep sigh while gritting teeth*

Friday, May 06, 2005

Dear Bush people,

i really would like to ask how you balance things out in your head regarding bush and co. i read the new incessantly and it seems that a lot of people get blown up in iraq daily, from little iraqi kids to your kids, but you still blankly stare ahead
with your bush flag raised.

first off i would like to state that your voting for him is your choice and i defend that choice against anal ass europeans on a daily basis. seeing that i do, i do feel that it would be helpful if you shared some insight as to why you blindly follow this guy.

now, i don't swing off the nuts of clinton and personally felt that he was/is a charismatic chameleon with his own personal elevation behind his every choice. now that we've got that stated it is a fact that we americans are in a worse position then we were before he took the reigns. the economy sucks, we're in a useless war with no end in sight and deficit it ridiculous. to top it off bush, with his john wayne inspired "freedom" swagger, has ignored the sudanese crisis while not doing a damn thing to numerous other countries that try to blatantly step all over this 'line' he's drawn in the sand while he does. not. a. damn. thing. here's a guy that claims he's out to free the world but doesn't seem to do it and when he supposedly tried he made it worse. sorry about the rant but i am really at loss on this point and as to why people aren't rioting right now.
dunno, just wondering.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

my shoe game 5-5-5

i'm sick wit it but play with a handicap (size 15) so when i'm fortunate to come across some ishness that fits i get in. today the sun shined literally and figuratively on me and upped my shoe game by 200%. now the average person wouldn't get that amped about some shoes but i am not your average and rock the same damn shoes till i find something, anything. which usually is right about UN multi-translator status, so this is b.i.g.

anyway it's some holiday here so wifey's sister and her nephew are here and we've chilled hard today and dude's infinite supply of energy is something to behold.

still have some work to finish up on but finally seeing lights at the end of the tunnel.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005


why do you pay money to the designers of the Jordans? those shits looks terrible and have for quite a while now.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

if you don't have this month's the Fader

cop it now! i on the other hand have to wait until 2040 when it actually touches down in sweden *sigh* there's a write up by non other than some dude who was illiterate until I taught him how to read and write in late 2000 about j*davey i.e. the truth so it's worth your time. in fact if you do not cop it i will banish you from every trespassing on the ldef blog again.

with that said things are heading toward lovely in this direction and work is starting to feel grown up. wifey is at the gym and i'm sitting here listening to some birds sing at each other off tune, guess how that's how they get down in sweden. oh, speaking of birds i noticed that they didn't have robins and the like here but had these big black birds. anyway i was watching discovery channel (which is always in english) on of the first weeks i was here and they did this thing on those birds and they were showing how they eat flesh, eat flesh??? huh, robins may eat worms which for all intents and purposes IS flesh but it ain't stripping a cow clean. well that fucked up my 'watching the birds on a park bench stee' and i am forever ice grilling these scary feathery fuckers. i'm glad that i could share that.

in other news the pistons took an l last night to the 76er's because iverson decided to walk on water near the end. of course this is based off of my reading about it because i can't see the games here and if i could they would come on around 12am and finish right about the time that i need to wake up. sooo, i'm thinking that if any of you geeks has any 'ideas' as to how i could see the games please e me and we'll all be happy shiny people.

this week i promise to hip you all toward the vague statements i've spoken about which is my 'project' that seems to drag on and on, really. seriously.

well back to my obsessive playing of GTA where i've given up on the actual missions for a life of killing police officers with cheat codes and a jet pack!

Friday, April 29, 2005

"i am a blankness, the contained center of an O"

inner breathlessness, outer restlessness
by the time i caught up to freedom i was out of breath
grandma asked me what i'm running for
i guess i'm out for the same thing the sun is sunning for
what mothers birth their youngens for
and some say jesus coming for
for all i know the earth is spinning slow
suns at half mast 'cause masses ain't aglow
on bended knee, prostrate before an altered tree
i've made the forest suit me
tables and chairs
papers and prayers
matter versus spirit
a metal ladder
a wooden cross
a plastic bottle of water
a mandala encased in glass
a spirit encased in flesh
sound from shaped hollows
the thickest of mucus released from heightened passion
a man that cries in his sleep
a truth that has gone out of fashion
a mode of expression
a paint splattered wall
a carton of cigarettes
a bouquet of corpses
a dying forest
a nurtured garden
a privatized prison
a candle with a broken wick
a puddle that reflects the sun
a piece of paper with my name on it
i'm surrounded
i surrender
all that i am i have been
all i have been has been a long time coming
i am becoming all that i am
the spittle that surrounds the mouth-piece of the flute
unheard, yet felt
a gathered wetness
a quiet moisture
sound trapped in a bubble
released into wind
wind fellows and land merchants
we are history's detergent
water soluble, light particles, articles of cleansing breath
articles amending death
these words are not tools of communication
they are shards of metal
dropped from eight story windows
they are waterfalls and gas leaks
aged thoughts rolled in tobacco leaf
the tools of a trade
barbers barred, barred of barters
catch phrases and misunderstandings
but they are not what i feel when i am alone
surrounded by everything and nothing
and there isn't a word or phrase to be caught
a verse to be recited
a man to de-fill my being in those moments
i am blankness, the contained center of an "o"
the pyramidic containment of an "a"
i stand in the middle of all that i have learned
all that i have memorized
all that i've known by heart
unable to reach any of it
there is no sadness
there is no bliss
it is a forgotten memory
a memorable escape route that only is found by not looking
there, in the spine of the dictionary the words are worthless
they are a mere weight pressing against my thoughtlessness
but then, who else can speak of thoughtlessness with such confidence
who else has learned to sling these ancient ideas
like dead rats held by their tails
so as not to infect this newly oiled skin
i can think of nothing heavier than an airplane
i can think of no greater conglomerate of steel and metal
i can think of nothing less likely to fly
there are no wings more weighted
i too have felt a heaviness
the stare of man guessing at my being
yes i am homeless
a homeless man making offerings to the after-future
sculpting rubber tree forests out of worn tires and shoe soles
a nation unified in exhale
a cloud of smoke
a native pipe ceremony
all the gathered cigarette butts piled in heaps
snow covered mountains
lipsticks smeared and shriveled
offerings to an afterworld
tattoo guns and plastic wrappers
broken zippers and dead eyed dolls
it's all overwhelming me, oak and elming me
i have seeded a forest of myself
little books from tall trees
it matters not what this paper be made of
give me notebooks made of human flesh
dried on steel hooks and nooses
make uses of use, uses of us
it's all overwhelming me, oak and elming me
i have seeded a forest of myself
little books from tall trees
on bended knee
prostrate before an altered tree
i've made the forest suit me
tables and chairs
papers and prayers
matter vs. spirit, through meditation
i program my heart to beat breakbeats and hum basslines on exhalation

- saul williams

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

*applying warpaint*

still on the warpath but feel more like myself today because of the noxzema and suave deoderant i got yesterday by one of the few 'my fellow americans' here. on the pro-black scale i'm three-fifths toward malcolm right now and steadily rising.

my project is looking like it's almost finished *crossing fingers* and hopefully we'll have a red carpet premier in the near, near future. after a "tense" weekend i'm getting used to going to work and the great feeling of coming home to quiet and relaxation.

i'm rocking this esthero and mop's 9th wonder produced instigator at the moment.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

There's a Riot Going On

or about to. a swedish ice cream company called Nogger decided to come out with a new ice cream called Nogger Black. the thing is that the swedish word for black is 'svart' and the ads are writing in a graffiti-ish logo.

the problem is that swedes, known for their tennis elbow induced from constant back patting, refuse to think of themselves as racist and thus not offended by the ad in general. in fact they say that race is an amerikkkan problem so they don't see the big deal. See the big deal? it's not your issue to be offended so why should i have to explain why i'm offended? people have actually tried to argue that racism isn't a problem here, which of course a white swede would know all to well.

The fact that they separate themselves from "american" racism is simply laughable. sweden was the first country to recognize the states as a separate entity from Britain, thus getting cut rate cotton prices which of course made the slave masters add benefits (spa treatments and such) and raises to the slaves to make sure they could meet this extra demand with a smile on their beautiful black faces. let's not get into the swedish built slave ships and various swedish slave ports during the slave trade.

Last night wifey was watching a swedish comedy show called Hey Baberiba where they did bit where a 'host' asked a 'guest' questions and they answered it wrong. they asked what the name of the ice cream was that everyone is talking about and the 'guest' responded "Nigger."

i've already called the tv station and asked for an apology, i'm sick of this shit and the polar opp of an arm chair revolutionary. if you have any ideas as to how to bring light to this shit hit me.

nat turner

Thursday, April 21, 2005

once upon a time (XXX edition)

Oct. '75

April '82

today, toothpick still included


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