Monday, January 31, 2005

for women

as january breathes it's last and the Time gets her last contractions before giving birth to black history month i'd thought i'd take a minute and offer up my thanks to those before.

Yea, so we got this tune called "For Women" right
Originally, it was by Nina Simone
She said it was inspired by, you know
Down south. In the south, they used to call her Mother Antie
She said No Mrs.
Just Antie
She said if anybody ever called her Antie
she'd burn the whole goddamn place down
I'm over past that
Coming into the new millenium, we can't forget our elders

I got off the 2 train in Brooklyn on my way to a session
Said let me help this woman up the stairs before I get to steppin'
We got in a conversation she said she a 107
Just her presence was a blessing and her essence was a lesson
She had her head wrapped
And long dreads that peeked out the back
Like antenna to help her get a sense of where she was at, imagine that
Livin' a century, the strenght of her memories
Felt like an angel had been sent to me
She lived from nigger to colored to negro to black
To afro then african-american and right back to nigger
You figure she'd be bitter in the twilight
But she alright, cuz she done sseen the circle of life yo
Her skin was black like it was packed with melanin
Back in the days of slaves she packin' like Harriet Tubman
Her arms are long and she moves like song
Feet with corns, hand with callouses
But her heart is warm and her hair is wooly
And it attract a lot of energy even negative
She gotta dead that the head wrap is her remedy
Her back is strong and she far from a vagabond
This is the back of the masters' whip used to crack upon
Strong enough to take all the pain, that's been
Inflicted again and again and again and again and flipped
It to the love for her children nothing else matters
What do they call her? They call her aunt Sara.

I know a girl with a name as beautiful as the rain
Her face is the same but she suffers an unusual pain
Seems she only deals with losers who be usin' them games
Chasin' the real brothers away like she confused in the brain
She tried to get it where she fit in
on that American Dream mission paid tuition
For the receipt to find out her history was missing and started flippin
Seeing the world through very different eyes
People askin' her what she'll do when it comes time to chose sides
Yo, her skin is yellow, it's like her face is blond word is bond
And her hair is long and straight just like sleeping beauty
See, she truly feels like she belong in 2 worlds
And that she can't relate to other girls
Her father was rich and white still livin' with his wife
But he forced himself on her mother late one night
They call it rape that's right and now she take flight
Through life with hate and spite inside her mind
That keep her up to the break of light a lot of times
(I gotta find myself) (3X)
She had to remind herself
They called her Safronia the unwanted seed
Blood still blue in her vein and still red when she bleeds
(Don't, don't, don't hurt me again) (8X)

Teenage lovers sit on the stoops up in Harlem
Holdin' hands under the Apollo marquis dreamin of stardom
Since they was born the streets is watchin' and schemin'
And now it got them generations facin' deseases
That don't kill you they just got problems
and complications that get you first
Yo, it's getting worse, when children hide the fact that they pregnant
Cuz they scared of giving birth
How will I feed this baby?
How will I survive, how will this baby shine?
Daddy dead from crack in '85, mommy dead from AIDS in '89
At 14 the baby hit the same streets they became her master
The children of the enslaved, they grow a little faster
They bodies become adult
While they keepin' the thoughts of a child her arrival
Into womanhood was heemed up by her survival
Now she 25, barely grown out her own
Doin' whatever it takes strippin', workin' out on the block
Up on the phone, talkin' about
(my skin is tan like the front of your hand)
(And my hair...)
(Well my hair's alright whatever way I want to fix it,
it's alright it's fine)
(But my hips, these sweet hips of mine invite you daddy)
(And when I fix my lips my mouth is like wine)
(Take a sip don't be shy, tonight I wanna be your lady)
(I ain't too good for your Mercedes, but first you got to pay me)
(You better quit with all the question, sugar who's little girl am I)
(Why I'm yours if you got enough money to buy)
(You better stop with the compliments we running out of time,)
(You wanna talk whatever we could do that it's your dime)
(From Harlem's from where I came, don't worry about my name,)
(Up on one-two-five they call me sweet thang)

A daughter come up in Georgia, ripe and ready to plant seeds,
Left the plantation when she saw a sign even thought she can't read
It came from God and when life get hard she always speak to him,
She'd rather kill her babies than let the master get to 'em,
She on the run up north to get across that Mason-Dixon
In church she learned how to be patient and keep wishin',
The promise of eternal life after death for those that God bless
She swears the next baby she'll have will breathe a free breath
and get milk from a free breast,
And love beeing alive,
otherwise they'll have to give up being themselves to survive,
Being maids, cleaning ladies, maybe teachers or college graduates, nurses, housewives, prostitutes, and drug addicts
Some will grow to be old women, some will die before they born,
They'll be mothers, and lovers who inspire and make songs,
(But me, my skin is brown and my manner is tough,)
(Like the love I give my babies when the rainbow's enuff,)
(I'll kill the first muthafucka that mess with me, I never bluff)
(I ain't got time to lie, my life has been much too rough,)
(Still running with barefeet, I ain't got nothin' but my soul,)
(Freedom is the ultimate goal,
life and death is small on the whole, in many ways)
(I'm awfully bitter these days
'cuz the only parents God gave me, they were slaves,)
(And it crippled me, I got the destiny of a casualty,)
(But I live through my babies and I change my reality)
(Maybe one day I'll ride back to Georgia on a train,)
(Folks 'round there call me Peaches, I guess that's my name.)

reflection eternal - for women

Sunday, January 30, 2005

SA Rrrah!

iraqi elections today, i'm watching...

big punisher takes new meaning

penny eye'd thoughts

create south park people

Saturday, January 29, 2005

Judgment Inc

one thing that eats at my swedish existence is the overt uber finger-pointing which seems to be a rather large piece of sweden's social structure.

first off i'll say that yes i could be known as a rather confident person and a lot of people, in any country, tend to take it as cockiness. i am not Kanye West. shit, i get dude's spiel, always have and it's an inside joke that most people don't get and part of a broader focus of the good 'ol magicians trick of pay-attention-to-my-left-hand-while-i-pull-wonders-with-my-right. anyhoo, i'm not that. my 'confidence' comes from a lonely place that few people have been and damn near anyone wouldn't want to go if the receipt came with a certain walk,look or thought process. that's it, no tricks, just me trying to harness a drive similar to a pcp'ed wild stallion in heat. i don't want the world, i'm like everyone else, i just want my little section (without hurting anyone) and some damn quiet.

so if you think that your in the right when you cast ballots on my being, step the fuck off. handle you and we'll always be cool. i can promise you that i will return the favor, which i've already been doing. so relax or fuck off.

somebody raise your fist and let me know i'm not alone

Dear Esthero,

it's been a while since i first picked up your album Breath from Another back in my High Fidelity days. i'd been possessed since i saw the video for the Slam soundtrack with you and Goodie Mob. anyway i'm listening your album right now and am all out begging you to drop another album, not now but right now!



Thursday, January 27, 2005

Pow-ful mu-sik electric revival!!!!

cruch time today and i, the non writer, has to pull off something my fetal tissue never signed on for. regardless i got my amped!!! playlist providing the soundtrack for the days events which means that i. will. kill. it. *nervous smile*

one beef with thisis my simple beef with anyone who want's to cash in early, why the kcuf do you need to cash in others with you? killing oneself is a punk move in the first place it simply means you don't have the guts to stare time in the eye until that mofo blinks... but it is your life and if you feel the need to cash it in that will leave more water and oxegen for those of us who wake up each morning and are thankful to be here, just don't force people along for the ride, bastard.

my heart goes out to the parents hurting this morning because of bush's war...

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

TV on the Radio

day one of shuffle (in non shuffle mode) and lost my sonic virginity to the above mentioned b.a.n.d. for lack of a better word. you know those dreams where you seemlessly move between places? try an infinte 10 seconds before an orgasm smoked out under a glass stage watching early sly and the family stone with sade, björk and esthero sing/wispering to you at the same time and you'll have a slight clue.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

i'm ipoded

yep put some wool on and got the first shuffle in today, by accident... i likes though.

so much on my mind that i can't recline

Yo...on The Amen, Corner I stood lookin at my former hood
Felt the spirit in the wind, knew my friend was gone for good
Threw dirt on the casket, the hurt, I couldn't mask it
Mixin down emotions, struggle I hadn't mastered
I coreograph seven steps to heaven
And hell, waiting to exhale and make the bread leavened
Veteran of a cold war It's Chica-I-go for
What I know or, what's known
So some days I take the bus home, just to touch home
From the crib I spend months gone
Sat by the window with a clutched dome listenin to shorties cuss long
Young girls with weak minds, but they butt strong
Tried to call, or at least beep the Lord, but didn't have a touch-tone
It's a dog-eat-dog world, you gotta mush on
Some of this land I must own
Outta the city, they want us gone
Tearin down the 'jects creatin plush homes
My circumstance is between Cabrini and Love Jones
Surrounded by hate, yet I love home
Ask my guy how he thought travellin the world sound
Found it hard to imagine he hadn't been past downtown
It's deep, I heard the city breathe in its sleep
Of reality I touch, but for me it's hard to keep
Deep, I heard my man breathe in his sleep
Of reality I touch, but for me it's hard to keep


So much on my mind that I can't recline
Blastin holes in the night til she bled sunshine
Breathe in, inhale vapors from bright stars that shine
Breathe out, weed smoke retrace the skyline
Heard the bass ride out like an ancient mating call
I can't take it y'all, I can feel the city breathin
Chest heavin, against the flesh of the evening
Sigh before we die like the last train leaving

respiration - BlackStar feat. Common

3 to 5 years?

why couldn't it be a useless train like the G?

Sunday, January 23, 2005

lighting crack pipes in atlantis

'i am not a writer' my as of late, late night/early morning convo's mantra and highly flammable nightmare fuel. i'm not quite atlas though knee deep in his workout plan (damn my shoulders are sore) minus anna nicole and pink polo shirts-no. purple. haze. please. i've kissed the sky before and had to go to the hospital because i got rainbow burn. all i can say is och tack så mycket :-)

the underwater rhymes edition.

Friday, January 21, 2005


before you
all i knew was the amniotic fluids that i breathed
then you became my air...
now your gone
and i'm gasping for you

happy birthday

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

what's going on

the actual cost of the bush war. for ever single mother who is reexperiencing birthing pains.


don't you just hate when you're having a conversation with someone and they are just constantly trying to "one up" you??? this girl that sits behind me in my bio class constantly talks to this guy she sits next too and everytime he says that he's done something or has this, she ALWAYS has to say something in response that of course is BETTER than his..... for example(just to give you a clear pic of how annoying this is ): he says yeah i ride my bike 5 miles during the nice weather.... she has to reply with yeah i usually ride 6 when it's nice out!?!?! i mean come on is that really necessary??? she does this everytime he says something!! so then we get to leave class cause the teacher can't get the overhead to work, so i'm standing up and putting on my coat and she happens to say that she's from michigan, so i ask what part cause i am too, and so i say in between grand rapids and lansing in the country and W/O FAIL she says "we used to live on a house by the lake.... and we still have it there for vacation"!!! now #1. that DOES NOT! answer the question of where in MI (does it) since it's DAMN NEAR ALL SURROUNDED BY WATER!?!?!?!?! and #2. did you have to add that you still have the house there and you use if for vacation?? who cares, really that's not a big deal. i mean my dad had (not sure if he still has it) a house on a lake, and has 2 boats as well?? should i have added in that factoid?? would that have made the story any better?? just curious. just thought i'd share my first encounter of the day.
as you all can probably see this is my 1st post, and sorry if you were bored out of your skull, but i had to post something before D shunned me, anyways ...THANKS for listening! :)

'even if now she gotta perm'


Monday, January 17, 2005


is it just me or is everyone sleeping on the exploration of titan? it seems that in this overtly stimulated world peoples imagination's are on e. i, for one, am geeked over seeing the first pictures taken of titan since egyptian times :-) (don't front like they couldn't have pulled it off).

in other news the world continues to ignore the plight of the sudanese while the worldwide ADD is showing up again with the asian disaster *sigh*

i'm placing my order today for the ipod shuffle stateside since sweden is getting treated like a stepchild and may not have it until april. i realized yesterday that they may have released the shuffle just to annoy me because now record companies will start sending this out instead of grown ipods for album reviews *sigh* and right when i finally get to start getting the cool stuff.

things i've never heard: TV on the Radio and SA RA Creative Partners.

lastly, do you know that feeling when you have that dropping feeling in your stomach and though the reason went away it still stays?

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Daaamn homie

you used to the the man homie what happen to you?

on turning 30

i've been telling myself great things about turning thirty. my favorite is that from now the day i turn 30 all my words will be in red like the above* 30 year old.

*the above charater's ethnicity is not represented correctly, which we here at L deux e Foreign (or Ldef and we lovingly call ourselves) felt that we should state obviously and outright. of course L deux e foreign (Ldef for those who love us) hasn't figured out how to make small letters and this part should be small letters, so we apologize. L deux e Foreign (Ldef for the lover in you) is working hard here to make sure that you get to enjoy your experience and the only thing your thinking about is damn small letters! that's messed up! in fact we already apologized so we don't feel the need to do that shit again! in fact f*ck you! in fact you can can get finger number deux (minus the thumb) bastards! okay, L deux e Foreign (Ldef for star lit night with love) has calmed down now and we are sorry that we lost our temper. it's just that being almost thirty (which, amazingly, most of the staff here is turning) is rather stressful at times and we here at L deux e Foreign (if your playing Marvin, Ldef) would like to apologize.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

talk about applying pressure

there's something about apple that has us mac users singing it's praises on a somewhat annoyingly regular basis. damn near anything with a little i in front of it kinda works for us but today they came out swinging, which i'm sure you've already heard but i never said that being 6 hours ahead of eastern time didn't have it's drawbacks. anyhoo, links. i might buy a ipod shuffle for the time being, being that the dollar is soo low and all.. we'll see.

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Dust tracks on a Road

January 7, 1891 the world was blessed with a force of nature who actually fits the tired bill of 'ahead of their time.' Zora Neale Hurston was gangsta before the term had a cut umbilical. She was everything we try to be before it even existed, ya girl was baad. she was pro black when the klan roamed freely stamping out life after life like spent cigarettes. she wasn't just pro black she was proud of her heritage and went in search of it in places most people were praying earnestly to forget. She didn't just stay in Harlem waxing poetic with perm royalty she let her hands get rough picking cotton while listening to illiterate geniuses twist broken english into splendor those of us who like to call ourselves emcees wish we could construct.

People have a tendency to take the dirt and grime out of their 'heros' until shadows stand next to a brilliant fiction. not Zora, she wove her flaws into every single drop of evidence of her existence. Read Their eyes are watching God or Of Mules and Men and say she wasn't the lyrical version of Pam Grier with Billie's voice twinkling at you through every letter. This world has many injustices but one of the greatest is that she died alone and dead broke nameless. Zora Neale Hurston was the painful truth personified and i'd like to take the time to acknowledge her light 114 years after it first flickered, cause all they ever wanted us to do was remember.

2004 singles' dusty late pass

1. Banquet - Bloc Party
2. Call my name- Prince
3. Chocolate - Kylie Minogue
4. I See Now - Consequense feat. Kanye West and Little Brother
5. I Can't Wait - Sleep Brown feat. Outkast
6. Lucifer - Jay Z
7. Drop it like it's hot - Snoop feat. Pharrell
8. Days of Our Lives - De La Soul Feat. Common
9. dream - dizzy rascal
10. chewing gum - anie
11. Millionaire - Kelis feat. Andre 3000
12. Take it there - Little Brother
13. Fit but you know it (remix) - The Streets feat. Kano, Donae'o, Lady Sovereign and Tinchy Stryder
14. Star - The Roots
15. She Moved Outta Cincy - Tanya Morgan
16. Welcome Back - Mase
17. Breathe - Fabulous
18. These Walls Don't Lie - Promoe
19. Ton för Ton - Fattaru
20. Reasons - Spectac feat. Phonte

the drill

my neighbor seems to have a drill dependency, seriously. since i moved here over a year and a half ago whoever lives above or to the side of me has been drilling, for effin' hours! usually it's right about that time after you've eaten and settle down to watch tv then this nut starts drilling. over and over and over again for hours. then he or she will stop for a while and your headache will start to subside and right about then, time to resume. i am starting to have homicidal feelings toward whoever this is because, let's be honest, THERE'S NO WAY YOU CAN DRILL THAT MUCH. what the kcuf are you drilling?!?! *deep breath*

in unrelated news the us army would like to say "my bad"

Saturday, January 08, 2005

and the rockets bright glare

bombs bursting and stuff

spiritually speaking

just finished watching this on 60 minutes.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

lyrically i'm supposed to represent

after a string of meetings over the last couple of days things are looking like they just might work out but i'll keep my fingers crossed along with my lucky cup until tomorrow's news. *sigh*

otherwise today is yet another holiday in the damn looong chain of holidays they take very seriously here in sweden. it annoys me because it's not like in the states where things can get accomplished on holidays, hell whole offices are closed down for the rest of the week when they just got back on monday. i just wanna complete a thing or two, is that too much to ask?

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

media ethics

when do ethics kick in? really?

i've been watching the swedish news show body after body of little kids being picked up to toss into mass graves. not swedish kids or western kids but indonesian and sri lankan kids. the value of life seems to increase with your country's currency.

and meanwhile, for the sudanese watching, if there's one thing you all should learn from this tragedy is that the world doesn't pay attention unless white people are killed.

i'm baffled

i'm the agent to a professional muse but have writers block.

Monday, January 03, 2005

2 aborted entries

and 9 to 5 on tv, complete with 'maui wowee' references and my eyes are weighted after a full day of work and finally seeing Live in color. the tsunami is all over the news here though the number of missing drops daily, because some people are heading back and not sharing it with the government. strange. the government isn's sharing a list of those missing publicly because people either may or have been robbing missing peoples homes. *raising eyebrows*

well my eyes are heavy and my 04 list isn't finished yet.