Saturday, August 20, 2005

God Forgive Me For My Brash Delivery

Another G-Bomb mistake that hit too close to home.

Now, once upon a time, not too long ago
A nigga like myself had to strongarm a hoe. . .

On Aug 17, 2005, at 5:07 PM, NH wrote:

Keep mulling over the part of our conversation about the usage of language as a means to subjugate or demean. When straight men are ridiculed as gay, it implies that they are inferior in some way. Not a man. Not quite there.

(So not the case with the gay men that I know and adore.)

This is not a critique of your writing, nor the motivations behind your posts to address the cowardly and distasteful way that said parties have slandered your name and your body of work. Merely to say that your written response, with the intent to defend yourself, seems to include asserting your masculinity by feminizing or sexualizing other men.

Political correctness aside, you are more than clever enough to craft an argument that posits that emotional insecurities lead to impulsive epithets designed to establish a fleeting sense of control.

What do you think?

I think I should apologize to the women and members of the LGBTQI community who I may have disrespected. So. . . Sorry.

I think that I should have taken the time to clarify that I was speaking metaphorically. I was attemtpting to draw a parallel between homey's repeated attempts to garner attention from me and the mannerisms of a schoolboy who pulls on a girl's hair beause he really likes her but lacks the courage to express his admiration. I mean a guy attracted to another guy is gay (or maybe bi), no?

I think it's unfortuante that my approach allowed the child to hide behind my residual homophobia (I ain't even gonna try to front like my understanding and/or comfort level with male homosexualtiy is at 100%; maybe 80-85%.) and suckle at the teat of the feminist crew as opposed to dealing with what he knows the true issues to be. Dude knows well and good it's about his constant, misguided moves to engage me in conversation. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not so umbrageous as to take offense to anything written about me (much less my work). I mean, hell, much worse has been written and said. And a lot of it is right there on Google for anyone to see.

I think it's also unfortunate that a third player came into the game in the 9th inning, further allowing homey to obfuscate what the whole situation is really about. I also think it's fucked up that I let myself be blind-sided and caught out there by the third player. But shit happens. You win some, you lose some. No one bats 1.000.

But, most importantly, I think it's fucked up that I was insensitive to you and others like you. If anything, I was dissing you by equating the boy's twaddle with the real things you deal with everyday. Sorry.

[Pacifist-Assassin: This is not a hoe in the sense of havin' a pussy, but a pussy havin' no goddamned sense -- tryna push me.]

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